Crash Boom Bang! script

This page is comprised of transcriptions of all the cutscenes in Crash Boom Bang!.

Notes:
 * Each cutscene is in chronological order of appearance in regular gameplay.
 * This game's cutscenes play out as comic panels as opposed to full-motion video, with subtitles instead of voiced dialogue. A new description is written each time a new panel appears.
 * The game's subtitles are not attributed to specific characters, meaning when panels with multiple characters are displayed, it can sometimes be unclear which character is saying what. When this happens, the script will attribute the line to "???".

Intro
[A glass of red wine in hand, the Viscount is brooding by a window in his mansion.]

Viscount: "Why can't I find it? I've searched to my wit's end... and I followed this map every step of the way."

[Viscount gets an intense look in his eyes.]

Viscount: "I know of just the people for the job."

[A panel showing Crash and Coco appears.]

Viscount: "Those bright, energetic, naive bunch of characters who won't suspect a thing."

[Viscount laughs to himself, swirling the wine in its glass.]

Viscount: "I'll con them into working for me, and the Super Big Power Crystal will be mine at last! Bwahahahahaha!"

[A letter is seen falling through a mail slot in the Bandicoot House.]

[Coco picks up the letter and starts to read it, Crash and Aku Aku looking over her shoulders.]

Coco: "The 'World Cannonball Race'? The prize is... $100,000,000?! Looks like my lucky break!"

Narration: "And this is what lead to a series of dangerous races."

[Under a multicolored archway on a beach, the Viscount is standing before a crowd, microphone in hand.]

Viscount: *tap* *tap* *tap* "Is this thing on? Ladies and gentlemen, the globe-spanning "World Cannonball Race" is about to begin! Your job is to follow MY orders... err, instructions... and go for the goal!"

[Crash and Coco are standing by the front of the crowd, looking on intently.]

Viscount: "BUT! It's not all about who can get there the fastest. Each stage has courses where you may have to find a little something in order to finish. I urge you all to keep that in mind."

[Viscount points dramatically at the crowd.]

Viscount: "Alright then. I'm expecting you all to combine your brains and brawn to get me the... err, to get that glorious prize money!"

[A wide view of the Port Town map is shown.]

Narration: "Time for Stage 1! Just hurry up and get to the finish line!"

Stone Tablets
[Out in a sandy desert, the group has gathered at the top of a canyon, many mesas and other rock formations below. Viscount motions out towards the vista, and Coco and Crunch look on.]

Viscount: "Legend has it that there are ancient Stone Tablets buried somewhere in this desert. Your job is to go find them and bring them to me!"

[Crunch glances at Coco, who peers off into the distance, shading her eyes with her hand.]

Coco: "How are we supposed to find them in the middle of such a huge desert?"

[Viscount stomps his foot impatiently and starts to yell, startling Crash and Coco.]

Viscount: "You'll DIG for them of course! Ahem... Just hurry up and get started!"

Coco: "Hmm... Something doesn't seem quite right."

[A wide view of the desert is shown.]

Narration: "Time for Stage 2! Find those stone tablets buried in the desert! They're probably under some blank squares. Squares have undersides too, you know. Try using items to flip them over and search! There are 4 stone tablets in total. Work together and collect them all!"

Cortex's Meddling
[Finally with the stone tablet in his hand, Viscount begins to closely examine an ancient map with a magnifying glass.]

Viscount: "Hmm... According to the stone tablets... The actual location is hidden somewhere on this ancient map."

[Suddenly, Cortex dashes past, snatching the map out of Viscount's hand.]

Cortex: "Ha! I've got it!"

Viscount: "Hey! What are you-"

Cortex: "Thought you could use me, did you? Your petty tricks are no match for my brain power! This treasure map is mine now!"

[Viscount grabs the other edge of the map, and the two begin tugging it back and forth between them.]

Viscount: "Give it back! That map alone isn't enough to find the treasure. I'm afraid you'll be needing something else."

Cortex: "Nonsense. My intellectual prowess and skills of deduction are more than enough!"

[Finally, the map is torn into pieces.]

Viscount: "Nooo! Stop it!"

[Crash, Cortex and Viscount look on in horror as the map is destroyed.]

[Three Lab Assistants appear, and Cortex points at them as they solute.]

Cortex: "My loyal slaves... You will find those pieces and bring me the map! You'd better go find those map fragments..."

[A wide view of the next map is shown; the Big City.]

Narration: "Time for Stage 3! The map was torn into 4 pieces. Work together and collect them all!"

The Volcano
[Viscount poses in front of an image of the Super Big Power Crystal.]

Viscount: "It's been torn to pieces. Oh well. The Super Big Power Crystal is what I'm after. Now that you know about the map I might as well let you in on it. The Super Big Power Crystal is a legendary stone from ancient times. He who obtains it will be granted a single wish -- anything his heart desires. I'm willing to give a large sum of money to those who help me find the stone."

[Coco and Tawna question Viscount.]

Coco: "Why not just skip the hassle and find the stone yourself, and get the wish? Wouldn't that be faster?"

Viscount: "Hmph... You think this map is all I need to find the stone, don't you? But it's impossible to find without the final key."

Coco: "The final key?"

Viscount: "Hm-hm-hm..."

[Viscount motions towards a nearby airplane.]

Viscount: "I'm going to the northern sea in search of the final key. Unfortunately for you my plane is full. I'll only take those along who are capable enough to pass up the plane. I'll be rooting for you from my seat in first class. Best of luck!"

[A wide view of a volcano is shown.]

Narration: "Time for Stage 4! Time for Stage 4...err, Stage 3 and a half maybe? Get to the mouth of that volcano! Its explosive power can help you catch that plane!"

A Voyage
[The group is now on the deck of a ship. Coco peers over the handrail, which Pura shivers behind her.]

Coco: "This p-place is f-freezing! So the final key is supposed to be here?"

[The Viscount stares soberly into the distance.]

Viscount: "About 100 years ago there was an adventurer in search of the stone."

???: "Hm?"

Viscount: "It was my grandfather. He discovered the final key, but was never able to decipher the ancient map. He decided to go home to collect his thoughts, but on the way his ship collided with a giant iceberg and sunk. My beloved grandfather was sent to a watery grave along with the final key."

[Cortex, Tawna, Pinstripe, Crunch, Coco and Crash look on.]

???: "Sounds like a movie."

[Viscount gives an intense look.]

Viscount: "Go and get it!"

[No one does anything.]

???: "Huh?"

[Back to Viscount.]

Viscount: "The final key."

[Still nothing.]

???: "Hm?"

[Back to Viscount again.]

Viscount: "Get the final key from his sunken ship and bring it to me!"

[Tawna, Pinstripe, Crunch and Coco all gasp.]

???: "But it's freezing!"

[A view of the sunken ship on the sea floor is shown.]

Narration: "Time for Stage 5! Look for the final key in that sunken ship! The key has broken up into sections. Work together and find all 4 of them!"

The Ancient Tower
[A Stone Tablet is shown.]

Viscount: "The Stone Tablets..."

[Next, the ancient map.]

Viscount: "The Stone Tablets have revealed the true location on this ancient map."

[Lastly, the final key.]

Viscount: "And now the final key."

[Viscount raises his arms triumphantly, a mysterious tower looming behind him.]

Viscount: "At last I have all the pieces! Behold the ancient tower! Countless adventurers have searched for this, but not one of them was able to make it here! This tower is where the Super Big Power Crystal is awaiting its master!"

[A view of the stairwell on the inside of the tower is shown.]

Narration: "Time for Stage 6! Just make your way to the top!"

Finale
[Viscount approaches the Super Big Power Crystal where it levitates in place, a bright golden light surrounding it.]

Viscount: "At last! It's all mine! All..."

[Viscount slowly reaches out for the crystal.]

[Out of nowhere, Crash dashes ahead of Viscount.]

Viscount: "No! This can't be...!"

[Crash reaches out and touches the crystal. Reaction shots of Cortex, Pura, Coco, Crunch, Pinstripe, Tawna and Fake Crash are shown as the room is filled with bright light.]

[Suddenly, hundreds of Wumpa Fruit begin raining from the sky.]

[Crash frolicks cheerfully around the piles of fruit. Cortex, Coco and Viscount look on, Coco surprised, Cortex disappointed, Viscount crestfallen.]

Narration: "Maybe things worked out for the best after all."

[Coco picks up a Wumpa Fruit, smiles and winks at the camera.]

Coco: "Aren't you optimistic... hee-hee! May peace prevail on Earth."