List of quotes in Crash Tag Team Racing

The following is a list of quotes from the 2005 video game Crash Tag Team Racing. This is listed alphabetically by character.
 * Coco Bandicoot
 * Crunch Bandicoot
 * Doctor N. Gin
 * Doctor Neo Cortex
 * Nina Cortex
 * Park Drones
 * Pasadena O'Possum
 * Stew &amp; Chick Gizzard Lips
 * Von Clutch

Cutscenes

 * "Perhaps a riddle or two!"
 * "Heedely-hidely-ho! To the statue you must go! This way or that, fall down, you go 'splat!' And everyone thinks you're a shmoe!"
 * [introducing the Mystery Island world] "Yo ho ho and a bottle of Wumpa Whip! Ahoy mateys! Batten down your hatches and swab my poop deck says I! Avast there ye slobs! Salty adventure awaits ye beyond these cursed portals o'doom! Hahahaha!"
 * [after Chick and Stew's introduction to the Happily After Faster world] "Now click your heels three times and repeat after me: I do believe in the stinking beauty, I do believe in the stinking beauty, I do!"
 * [introducing the Tyrannosaurus Wrecks world] "What horrors for you are in store, great beasts and volcanoes galore! As I say with a grin, try hard, you might win, though your butt will probably be sore. Hee hee hee!"
 * [introducing the Tomb Town world] "Awaken not angry spirits that lie within, grave robber! Beyond the ancient vault of gold and family jewels awaits a profaned prophecy for those who disturb the mummy's slumber! Ha, ha! Don't wake daddy either!"
 * "Oh! That's it! I've had it! You people are dumber than a sack of hammers! It's me! Meeee! I tell you!
 * "Don't you get it? Meeee!"
 * "And I would've succeeded too, if it wasn't for you meddling bandicoots! And now the time is nigh, it's really do or die! This stone in my sack proves Von Clutch is a hack! And you can look for me in the sky! Hahahahaha! So long, suckers!"
 * [trying to get the "rocket" to launch] "Come on, come on, don't do this to me!"
 * "Hey! Who are you calling 'sour'?!"

When attacked by Crash

 * "Be nice!"
 * "This is the tenth time today this has happened, I swear!"
 * "I'm only sending you four Christmas cards this year!"
 * "I need a sick day."
 * "Uh huh, I bruise easily!"
 * (Screams like a girl.)
 * (Groans.)
 * "I'll spit out Wumpa Whip when I'm darn-good-n'-ready!"
 * "I'll sauce your apples for that!"
 * "Not the face. Not the face!"
 * "You meanie!"

When interacting with Crash

 * "Well hello there little man. I'm Willie Wumpa Cheeks!"
 * "Crash Bandicoot, what a surprise, have a tall one from me!"
 * "Hello Crashiepooh! I know you're a big fan. Want an autograph?"
 * "Hey buddy, step aside! Can't you see I'm working here?"
 * "Hey kid you're cramping my style. Beat it! This is my corner!"
 * "Hey paley. You look thirsty and I'm brimming with Wumpa Whip. What are the chances?"
 * "Wumpa Cheeks is the name! Sour juice is my game!"
 * "Uh-oh, sorry but the Wumpa Pumpa is all dried out! Heh heh."
 * "Why hello...say didn't I just meet you a minute ago?"
 * "Crash Bandicoot! I'll tempt your tummy with a taste of Wumpa and Honey!"
 * "Hello again Crash. We have to stop meeting like this!"
 * "Hey, there, hi, there, ho, there! Want a frothy, body temperature cup of Wumpa Whip?"

When interacting with Crash

 * "This place is funny, but not haha funny."
 * "I wanna ride the roller coaster!"
 * "Where's my daddy?"
 * "Where's my mommy?"
 * "This place smells funny."
 * "You brought me my candy!"
 * "Something's floating in my Wumpa Whip."
 * "Hooray!"
 * "Woohihi!"
 * "Yoppie!"
 * "I want an ice cream!"
 * "You think I lost the tooth."
 * "I'm gonna do that and gonna do that and gonna do that."
 * "Why do we keep coming here?"
 * "Take a picture of me!"
 * "Your furry guys scares me."
 * "This place sucks."
 * "I wanna go home!"

When attacked by Crash
When being attacked, boys often begin to cry. But girls don't.
 * "This was supposed to be family fun."
 * "Watch ya!"
 * "You're weird!"
 * "I don't like you!"
 * "This is because I'm not popular?"
 * "This isn't funny."
 * "I'm bleeding...inside!"
 * "Maniac!"
 * "Bully!"
 * "Jerk!"
 * "Quairn sucker!"
 * "My face!"
 * "My spine!"
 * "Help!"
 * "I need god..."
 * "That was my last baby tooth!"
 * "Why'd you do that?"

When interacting with Crash

 * "This place is funny, but not 'ha ha' funny, the other kind of funny"
 * "I think that broken!"
 * "Give me that drink!"
 * "Hooray!"
 * "Wehee!"
 * "Hihihi yoppie!"
 * "That so frenny!"
 * "When do we go home?"
 * "Wumpa Whum, I want go home!"
 * "I wanna go home!"
 * "Think I lost the tooth."
 * "Think I hurt myself."
 * "Candy! Candy! Caandy!"
 * "What's wrong with that furry guy?"
 * "This place sucks!"
 * "Where's my mommy?"
 * "Where's my daddy?"
 * "My Wumpa Whip tastes funny."
 * "I want do, I want do it!"

When attacked by Crash

 * "Mimi?"
 * "Yeeeee!"
 * "This isn't right at all!"
 * "I'm flying!"
 * "Help!"
 * "You're nice tough guy."
 * "Look out!"
 * "Bullyyyyyeeee!"
 * "Nice dream vacation!"
 * "Now I have cooties! Ick!"
 * "What's wrong with you?"
 * "Heelp mee!"
 * "Careful! I have bad reflexes!"
 * "Hang up, freak ball!"
 * "I'm getting a lawyer!"
 * "You will knock out my teeth!"
 * "Stop it, freak!"
 * "Why is this happening?"

When interacting with Crash

 * "Anybody see my husband?"
 * "She's wearing the same hat that I got!"
 * "Dude... I'd rather be working."
 * "That Wumpa Whip guy really scares me!"
 * "Ah, what's the story here... okay, like cheesecake?"
 * "This is the worst theme park I have ever seen, okay?"
 * "Somebody stole my purse!"
 * "Something smells funny, but not like hahahahahaha funny."
 * "Dude, where are your shoes? Okay, how can you lose your shoes?"
 * "Where is your underwear? Okay, how could you lose your underwear?"
 * "What a strange place. If I say totally like strange."
 * "I have never heard of anxiety works... whatever."
 * "Oh, come on, let's go already!"

When attacked by Crash

 * "Think of the children... somewhere... starving... well?"
 * "I'm going back to Canada!"
 * "This is such a cliché!"
 * "I play video games."
 * "Try more spinning!"
 * "Got me whatever- OW!"
 * "Argh!"
 * "I'm going to ex society. Go away!"
 * "Okay, I have no time for this."
 * "Okay, not you again."
 * "Losing mind and convenience."¨
 * "Aah... okay, make it stop!"
 * "Aah! I'm dead inside!"
 * "And I thought you were good guy!"
 * "What is wrong with you?"
 * "Why is this happening?"
 * "Someone please call me a lawyer!"
 * "Ow! Okay, sure, I don't need that eye, great thanks!"
 * "Ow, ow, ow! Okay, stop it!"
 * "Okay... quit it already!"
 * "Yes, walk all over me- ouch!"
 * "You haven't seen the last of me, brother!"
 * "Yeah, yeah, kick the helpless NPC!"
 * "Did you just... beat it, buddy!"

When interacting with Crash

 * "Isn't there any real food here?"
 * "No, you can't hit your sister. Yes, I know she's adopted."
 * "Where are your shoes? How could you lose your shoes?"
 * "Where are your underpants? How could you lose your underpants?"
 * "That Wumpa Whip guy really scares me."
 * "This vacation was your idea? We're getting divorced."
 * "What a strange place."
 * "Something smells funny, not 'ha ha' funny."
 * "He's wearing the same hat!"
 * "Doesn't ANYTHING here work?"
 * "My dogs are killing me."
 * "Oh, I've never even heard of XYZ sports!"
 * "Tell me again: why was this our vacation choice?"
 * "What's the story here, cheesecake?"
 * "I'm tired, Bill. So... very, very... tired."
 * "I'd rather be working."
 * "Someone stole my purse!"
 * "No, you can't go home now. If I'm here, you're here."
 * "Oh, come on, let's go already."
 * "This is the worst theme park I have ever seen all my life!"
 * "This family vacation is so bad, I wanna sell my children!"
 * "Anybody seen my husband?"
 * "I have more pictures of me with my eyes closed than I have skin cells. Really."
 * "Anybody seen my kids?"
 * "Where are my kids?"

When attacked by Crash

 * "Not again!"
 * "Think of the children!"
 * "What is wrong with you?"
 * "I'm all dead inside!"
 * "Leave me alone!"
 * "Oh-ho, quit it already!"
 * "I have no time for this!"
 * "Lousy minor inconvenience."
 * "Nice. Up all over me."
 * "I blame society."
 * "Why is this happening?"
 * "Drive-by spinning!"
 * "Call my lawyer!"
 * "Aahh!"
 * "Make it stop!"
 * "What the fudge?!"
 * "Beat it, buddy!"
 * "Uh-huh. I blame video games."
 * "I'm going back to Canada."
 * "You haven't seen the last of meeeee!"
 * "Oww! Stop it!"
 * "Sure. I didn't need that eye."
 * "Ahhhhhhh!"

When interacting with Crash
More will be added soon!
 * "Where's my whoopee cushion?"
 * "I keep telling you, the nurses are stealing my money!"

When attacked by Crash

 * "What? Are you trying to kill me?!"
 * "Thanks a lot, you idiot."
 * "You would know what to do with me."
 * "Ohh, great. Now I need new hips again."
 * "Young people suck!"
 * "Young fool!"
 * "Is that all ya got?!"
 * "All right! No more Mr. Nice Guy!"
 * "Shouldn't you be playing video games?"
 * "My grandson would never do that!"
 * "Watch where you're going, you jerk!"
 * "Yeah, all right. Put me out of my misery..."
 * "You... numbskull piece o' trash!"
 * "Snot-nosed kids..."
 * "You think that hurt? You couldn't hurt me with a cruise missile. -chuckles-" (Call of Duty reference)
 * "When I was your age, we'd only hit men!"
 * "You wanna rumble? Bring it on!"
 * "You think I'm a nice old lady? I'm not nice!"

When interacting with Crash

 * "Somebody get me a smoothie!"
 * "Anybody seen my kids? They sure all ugly?"
 * "I'd rather be playing video games."
 * "There's waaay too many cyborgs back here!"
 * "I'd much rather be playing football."
 * "I need a drink."
 * "This sucks!"
 * "The bad news is, I lost all my money on the ponies."
 * "Somebody tell my wife I'll be waiting in the car!"
 * "Oh, TV... I miss TV!"
 * "I'm sure tired of the music around here."
 * "Two weeks of vacation I'm spending in here?"
 * "Get out of my darn way!"
 * "I wish there were more sight gags around here."

When attacked by Crash
When is he attacked by Crash, his chocolate ice-cream will be tossed on his head.
 * "This place is full of idiots."
 * "Watch it, jerky!"
 * "Thanks a lot, Mr. Break My Legs."
 * "What's wrong with you, man?"
 * "What's the big idea?"
 * "I regret nothing."
 * "Ow!"
 * "Oof!"
 * "Waaah!"
 * "My face, where is?"
 * "Ow! My neck!"
 * "Ow! My kidneys!"
 * "Spines don't bend that way."
 * "Gah... What a life."
 * "Great, that's just great!"
 * "You have many problems, don't you?"
 * "My legs! Are all over there!"
 * "Goodbye, cruel world!"
 * "Thank god I'm returning."
 * "What about quitting that already?"
 * "For shame! For shame!"

Trivia

 * Neo Cortex's quote "Ouch, ouch, and double ouches!" is a pun on the "Drat, drat, and double drat" quote from Wacky Races.
 * Neo Cortex's quote about standing out "like a chocolate bar in a swimming pool" is a reference to the movie Caddyshack, in which someone dropped a Baby Ruth in a pool, making everyone divert their attention (as they thought it was poop).
 * One of Cortex's quotes is, "I would've hit him, but this game is rated E." This line was likely recorded prematurely, as the game is rated E10+ in America.
 * One of Coco's quotes is "Aww, derryberries!", which refers to the surname of the actress who plays Coco and may additionally pun SpongeBob's common phrase "Oh barnacles!" at the same time. Also, another one of her quotes is "Well there's a fine how-do-you-do" which is similar to one of Wallace's quotes from the Wallace & Gromit television series. And another one of her quotes is "Judge me by my size, do you?" is a reference to Yoda's line from Star Wars Episode V.
 * Nina Cortex also says this same Star Wars reference quote.
 * Stew's quote "Ol' Stewbie-doo needs a little help from you." is a reference to Scooby-Doo.
 * Another Scooby-Doo reference is when Willie Wumpa Cheeks says, "And I would've succeeded too, if it wasn't for you meddling bandicoots!", which is a spoof of a recurring line from the show.
 * Another Scooby-Doo reference is when Cortex says "Now who broke that? Jinkies, what a mystery!" after sometimes breaking a track-side target. "Jinkies!" is a word commonly said by Velma when she discovers something or is surprised.
 * Chick's quote "Holy original recipe!" is a reference to KFC.
 * N. Gin's quote "That's not a moon, that's a space station" is a reference to Obi Wan Kenobi's line from Star Wars Episode IV.
 * Von Clutch's quote "That was done on a closed track by a professional driver" is a reference to the disclaimer shown on many car commercials.
 * Another of Von Clutch's quotes is a reference to the song "Who Let the Dogs Out" by Baha Men.
 * This is also said by Neo Cortex but replaces "Dogs" with "Canines".
 * Yet another Von Clutch quote is a reference to the song "It's My Party" by Lesley Gore.
 * A crystal-selling drone says the word "jerk" 17 times during his conversation with Crash.