List of quotes in Crash Tag Team Racing

The following is a list of quotes from the 2005 video game Crash Tag Team Racing; they are listed alphabetically by character.

Missions

 * "Oh Crash! Thank goodness you're here! I've been trying to get this car working, but that stupid know-it-all nothing Nina stole my Fusion Unit. You gotta get it back for me! This car would be the best thing ever n' stuff."
 * "Crash, what are you doing back here? You go out there and get me that Fusion Unit. Please, big brother... This car would be the bestest thing I've ever built. It'll smoke the track with Nina, once and for all, heheheh!"
 * "Crash, where's the Fusion Unit? If this is a joke, I don't get it..."
 * "Ok Crash, What's the story here? I need that Fusion Unit so that I can show that stupid-faced Nina who's the best girl in the tracks so get moving!"

When attacked by Crash

 * "Wait until I tell Crunch! You are toast, buddy."
 * "You had to hit me. Just had to do it!"


 * "Im telling mom!... if we had one.'"


 * "Sticks and stones willeeeerrrrrrrr... MANIAC!"
 * "Hey! I'm a girl!"

When clashing

 * "One-and-a-half heads are better than none."

Missions

 * "Enough jibber-jabber! I need help. I found a ride that needs driving. You gonna help me, we bring the hurt. Eat your greens. Thud ol' Crunch a loan with low interest. I buy that ride a word, we bounce."
 * "What's wrong witchu, fool?! Shoulda stayed in school. You learn what number's bigger than another number. Become an accountant. Instead, you were chump. Chump that can't count! Crunch needs the coins. And brush your teeth. Looks like a checkerboard in there."
 * "You makin' me mad, Crash! Whatchu talkin' about witchu comin' back?! Bring the Crunch down! When Crunch is down, you get hurt. Don't bring the Crunch down! Down is for gophers. Crunch be no gopher! Mow the lawn when your parents ask you."
 * "Now you're just being crazy! You're like a monkey. A monkey that can't count! Don't pet stray dogs."
 * "Gotta respect you, Crash! When your big brother needs help, you give it. You're a tight dude! Let's roll the win! Use a washcloth!"
 * "Crash! I say Crash, boy! Come help out the Crunch. Crunch needs him some coins. Gonna play the Whac-a-Mole game, but I need coins to do it! Go get me a pile of coins. And brush your teeth."
 * "What's wrong witchu, fool?! That's not enough. You know that's not enough! Can't you count? Go back to school and get me the coins, boy."
 * "Still no Pinky Bear?! Where are you, Pinky Bear?! Crunch can't nap without his Pinky Bear! Crunch tired. If Crunch be tired, Crunch... a little sad."
 * "Boy, you go grabbin' the bull by the horns, and believe me, you're gonna get milked! Drink your milk. It's time you learned that a pig in a poke is worth two in a bush. Now go get me that Pinky Bear!"

When attacked by Crash

 * "Ah, my spine! Sleep eight hours a day."
 * "Avenge me! Eat a balanced breakfast."
 * "Don't be a fool! Stay in milk!"
 * "How could you do that?! I need work."
 * "Ouch! Chew with your mouth closed!"

When starting a race

 * "C'mon, children! Time to move!"
 * "I pity the fool who race against me!"
 * "Let's... get... bizzay!"

When destroying an opponent vehicle

 * "I burninated that chump!"

When flying through the air

 * "Crunch don't feel so good!"
 * "Darn it! Crunch hate to fly."
 * "I can see my house!"
 * "My therapist told me to avoid this!"

When clashing

 * "Who's ready for some double trouble?"
 * "Yeah! Teamwork!"

When declashing

 * "Go bling your blang elsewheres."
 * "Go get some milk, children. Get strong bones."
 * "You're just not strong enough. Get outside the house."

When running over a Park Drone

 * "Damn! Who dresses you?!"
 * "Ha! Ten points!"
 * "Might have to lay low in Mexico."
 * "Not even prison-pretty no more!"

When winning a race

 * "Stick and move! Stick and move!"

When attacked by Crash

 * "My eyeball! I love that eyeball!"
 * "Ow! That hurt! Thank you."
 * "Ow, my spleen is coming out! So that's what it looks like."
 * "Stop bullying me, man!"
 * "The pain... in my body... and organs... and body again..."
 * "You're trying to kill me, aren't you?! How can I ever thank you?!"

When passing an opponent vehicle

 * "I pass you like gas!"
 * "Take up a slower sport, like full-contact... duck-hunting or... something... with a duck."
 * "Try another sport. Like knitting!"
 * "Your mother is the speed limit now!"

When brushing against an opponent vehicle

 * "I will catch you, and do... something... horrible to you!"
 * "That hurt my colon so much!"
 * "They should take your license... because you're stupid!"
 * "You rat-monkey-pig-dog!"

When destroying an opponent vehicle

 * "Enjoy your screaming doom!"
 * "Reset your car so I can do that again."
 * "Take that, father! What? Did I say father?"
 * "Yes! Meet your doom, fool!"

When destroyed by an opponent vehicle

 * "Give my remains to science!"
 * "I'm too pretty!"
 * "No! The sweet pain!"
 * "The delicious burning!"

When flying through the air

 * "Quick! Shoot at civilians!"
 * "This... Okay, this is scaring me."
 * "Up in the sky! It's a complete maniac!"
 * "Watch the skies..."
 * "There must be something I can shoot from up here!"

When clashing

 * "Cybernetic merge power... activate!"
 * "Form of... a killing machine!"

When declashing

 * "I can't be seen with a freak like you!"
 * "You and me... just aren't working out. It's me. It's not you."
 * "You just can't cut the cheese, pal!"

When running over a Park Drone

 * "He was asking for it!"
 * "Hey! Don't scratch my car!"
 * "I will reanimate you later."
 * "Stay down, little man! Stay down!"
 * "Take that, you freak!"
 * "The smack is like music! Sweet music!"
 * "You bring me joy with your doom!"

When winning a race

 * "Aww, poor little baby can't aim! Why can't you aim, little baby?"
 * "Perhaps you need a head-rocket of your own, monkey-face!"
 * "Villagers with torches couldn't catch me! What chance do you have?!"
 * "Well, when luck gives you weapons... like flying torpedoes!"

When interacting with Crash

 * "Ah, yes. Crash, my dear boy. Haven't you some train tracks to play on?"
 * "Crash! What a surprise! I have a blaster gun with your name on it! Wait here."
 * "Crash! You really must assist me, dear boy. I dropped my chewing gum in that wood chipper over there. Would you be so kind as to retrieve it for me?"
 * "Crash! You're looking very fit and trim! Those pilates are doing wonders for your figure."
 * "Hello, Crash Bandicoot! Goodbye, Crash Bandicoot."
 * "Hello Crash. It's always a torture- uh, I mean pleasure to see you."
 * "Hey Crash! Willie Wumpa Cheeks has a dripping problem with his Wumpa Pumpa. Why don't you go plug it up?"
 * "Oh, do I despise that orange-pelted rodent. Uhh... ah, Crash! My old pal! I was just on a tirade about you!"
 * "Salutations, my dear Crash. Very soon I shall find you a new home in the afterlife."
 * "Ugh! Crash Bandicoot, stop hounding me!"
 * "Why Crash Bandicoot! My old friend! Have you ever heard the Cortex proverb that revenge is a dish best served with fava beans? Hmm. Well remind me to tell you sometime."
 * "Yes, yes! Don't bother me, Crash! Can't you see I'm working on your demise?! The nerve!"

When attacked by Crash

 * "I thought you liked me!"
 * "It's juvie all over again!"
 * "Just back off, man!"
 * "Meanie!"
 * "Nobody makes me bleed from there!"
 * "Oh, the pain of it all!"
 * "Stop it, please!"
 * "The pain! The sweet pain!"
 * "When I get my ray gun, you're through!"
 * "Why me?! I'm so pretty!"
 * "Why would you do that?!"
 * "You can't do that to me! No one can!"

When starting a race

 * "After I win, I want to be hand-fed grapes and drink lots of creamy soda."
 * "Attention, everyone! Follow me!"
 * "Fill 'er up and check my oil!"
 * "How much longer till we get there?!"
 * "I bore easily. Do try and keep up."
 * "It's okay everyone. I'll hold back a bit to keep it interesting."
 * "May the best cheat win!"
 * "My, my. So many balloons of hope for me to pop."
 * "Now, I may attack other drivers. Okay, I will attack other drivers."
 * "Now, when the flag lowers, everyone, hit reverse!"
 * "Okay, dregs of society! Time to learn who the real mad doctor is here!"
 * "Soon you will all taste the sour conception of defeat!"
 * "This race is a trivial challenge to a genius like me!"
 * "Wait, wait, I'm not buckled in!"

When starting from a standstill

 * "Let's see what this thing could do!"
 * "1.2 gigawatts of power!"
 * "Burn baby burn! Like a disco inferno!"
 * "Down, boy! Steady!"
 * "Engage!"
 * "Fear my fossil fueled wrath!"
 * "Hey! Pretty good pickup in this heap!"
 * "I am Cortex, hear me roar!"
 * "I feel the need! The need for acceleration!"
 * "I just love when that happens."
 * "Impressive! Most impressive!"
 * "I've got lots of torque! And I'm not afraid to use it!"
 * "Ladies react very favorable to that."
 * "Mad scientist coming through!"
 * "Nice skid marks!"
 * "Oh, I love that rumbling sensation!"
 * "Rolling rolling rolling!"
 * "Such power! Such speed! I'm such a catch!"
 * "Who's your daddy?"
 * "Yeehaw!!"

When passing by an opponent vehicle

 * "The last time I saw a car like that, someone was feeding it hay!"

When brushing against an opponent vehicle

 * "I would've flipped him, but this game is rated E!"
 * "That's no way to treat a man on his way to church!"

When brushing against a wall

 * "¿Dónde están mis pantalones?"
 * "Great! I just washed this vehicle!"
 * "Summon my proctologist!"

When flying through the air

 * "Breaker one nine, here comes rubber ducky!"
 * "If madmen were meant to fly, our cheeks would be filled with helium!"
 * "Now this is what I call an E-ticket ride!"
 * "Okay Luke, I'm starting my run!"

When running over a Park Drone

 * "An evil maniac's gotta do what an evil maniac's gotta do!"
 * "Cry all you want! I can't hear you! Lalalalalalalalalala!"
 * "Heavens! I enjoyed that too much!"
 * "It's really not my policy to pick up hitchhikers."
 * "Officer, he just walked right onto the road!"

When winning a race

 * "Who let the canines out? Woof! Woof, woof!"

When interacting with Crash

 * "Can't you see I'm planning Armageddon here?"
 * "Go away! I am allergic to fleas!"
 * "Is there something I can help you with?"
 * "Crash! Aren't you supposed to be defeating my uncle somewhere?"


 * "So you're the villian I've been warned about... rad."


 * "My uncle says you should give me any coins you've collected."
 * "Back off, Furball!"
 * "Have you come to deliver me from boredom?"

When attacked by Crash

 * "I'm telling!"

When flying through the air

 * "Death from above!"
 * "I wish I could stay up here always."
 * "I feel like a demagog!"
 * "I'm a great bird of doom!"

When running over a Park Drone

 * "Let that be a lesson to you all."
 * "Immoral? Possibly. Satisfying? Absolutely!"
 * "Not a hint of guilt here!"
 * "Great, now my tires need cleaning."
 * "Tell it to the bionic hands!"

When Clashing with oppenent vehicle

 * "Super size me!"
 * "Trust me, this will improve your odds."
 * "We form into a pinata of desruction!"
 * "How fortunate you are to clash with the likes of me!"
 * "Together, we shall unleash super size amounts of pain!"

When destroyed by oppenent vehicle

 * "Rise my dark stallian! ... Please!"
 * "I will rebuild you in the image of your former self!"
 * "Don't leave me this way!"
 * "I will remember this sacrafise with sorrow! Really!"
 * "Apparently he doesn't know who I am!"
 * "Sleep my pretty! Sleep..."
 * "Stay away from the light!"
 * "Disconcerning. Most disconcerning."
 * "It was not in vain, little car!"
 * "Oh the pain!"

When blasting other vechicles

 * "Breaking things makes me happy!"
 * "What else can I break around here?"
 * "Bad girl, bad girl! Whatcha gonna do?"
 * "My wrath is cold and hard."
 * "I am cyborg! Hear me roar!"
 * "Judge me by my size, do you?"
 * "Who says it's not fun being anti-social?"
 * "Witness the fate of my opponent!"
 * "I feel so alive!"
 * "You make me do this to you!"

When Declashing

 * "It just wasn't working out, okay?"
 * "I need a change of scenery. See ya!"
 * "Was it good for you to?"
 * "I'm done with this!"
 * "Parting is such sweet sorrow!"
 * "Don't call me. I'll call you."

When starting a race

 * "I'll be watching what everyone does."
 * "I'll write you a postcard from the finish line."
 * "Turning out the lights, the party's starting!"
 * "Engage, Number One!"
 * "Cower mortal slime!"
 * "I just had my braces tightened, so BRING IT ON!"

When winning a race

 * "And that's how it's done!"
 * "Ya have to get up pretty early in the morn..."

When attacked by Crash

 * "Ah! Park security!"
 * "I will be revengified for that."
 * "I thought you were a good guy!"

When starting from a standstill

 * "I peeled that like a banana!"
 * "Two plus two equals... um... cornbread?"

When brushing against a wall

 * "I must be balled up or som'thin'!"
 * "It's okay, just slap some Miracle Whip on it!"
 * "It's okay, honey. It hurts me more than you."
 * "Just spray some Cheeze Whiz down there, it'll be alright."
 * "Looks like I had a little too much hoo-ich on, I figure."
 * "Well, nothin' a lil' bacon fat can't fix."

When flying through the air

 * "'Scuse me while I touch the sky!"

When declashing

 * "In the game of checkers, you gotta lose a few pawns."
 * "You're all like AM radio!"

When running over a Park Drone

 * "Hmm... I can scrape 'im up later an' make some pie!"

When interacting with Crash

 * "Hello! Have you seen Willie Wumpacheeks? I'm thirsty!"
 * "Ah! Who are you? What are you wanting with me?"
 * "Oh my goodness! Crash Bandicoot! My videogame hero! I'm wanting autograph, ya?"

When starting a race

 * "Ya, ya, ya. May the best cyborg win. And we all know who that is."
 * "I do hope my dear mommy is watching on the crystal box. Hello mommy!"
 * "I love the sweet stench of burning rubber!"
 * "My surging power, she is hard to contain, ya?"

When destroying opponent vehicle

 * "Look at me! Driving foolish and crazy!"
 * "Von Clutch impresses you with violent 'choices, ya?"
 * "Stop your grinnin' and grab your linen!"
 * "Tally ho!"

When being destroyed by opponent vehicle

 * "Well that was painful. Now I cry!"

When running over a Park Drone

 * "Oh, my most sincere apologies! Ha!"
 * "Oh, Von Clutch is so sorry! Hee hee hee!"
 * "I know that shouldn't feel good. But it does!"