List of quotes in Crash Tag Team Racing said by Stew and Chick

This is a list of quotes said by Stew and Chick Gizzard Lips in Crash Tag Team Racing.

Tutorial (PS2 version)

 * "OK newbie, to walk or run, simply move the left Analog Stick or press the Directional Buttons in the direction you want Crash to move. I won't laugh, haha."
 * "Small objects might require you to jump-move to get over. Now hit that X button and let's see you do just a single jump. Come on, feel it baby, oooh!"
 * "You know, Wumpa Coins are scattered everywhere, even inside certain objects. Collect that coin baby and spend it like crazy on new stuff! Bling bling!"
 * "Are you ready? Crash is able to hang off ledges! No kidding! While hanging, move the left Analog Stick or press the Directional Buttons to edge shimmy left and right. Press the X button to move off the edge."
 * "Oh, this place is a dump! Sometimes the floor will just give way under you! Play it safe and jump over it."
 * "OK, you're gonna love this one. Jump Pads allow Crash to jump to otherwise inaccessible locations. Press the X button to jump onto a Jump Pad. Man, this game is smokin'!"

Missions

 * "Ol' Stewbie-doo needs a little help from you. You see, Ol' Stew has been runnin' around the hen house again and some ol' nasty chicken's been leavin' our eggs all over the place. If I don't find those eggs, my old lady will kill Stew. Go get me those eggs, boy! I'll make it worth your while."
 * "What's wrong with you boy? Stew said all the eggs!"
 * "Crash! Whatcha doin' to me, man? My missus will pluck me down to the gizzard if she sees those eggs, and I'm mysteriously rooted to the spot! I...can't...move!"
 * "You just toyin' with the Stew, ain't cha? This is how you get your kicks, playin' with ol' Stew when he's in a jam. Stew needs a hug!"
 * "Not you!"
 * "Oh, thank you boy. Thank you so much! Stew don't belong in no dog house, you know what I'm sayin'? You go check your garage. Stew be havin' a little surprise in there for ya."

When attacked by Crash

 * "Now I'll never be a daddy!"
 * "Celebrity under attack! Bodyguard!"
 * "Hey, did Chick's wife send you?!"
 * "Owwwwwwwww!"
 * "Ow, my wings!"
 * "STEW'S BEEN KICKED!"
 * "Stew's been hit! Stew's down!"
 * "Startin' somethin' boy? Startin' with the Stew?"
 * "Blacken, man, blacken! Stew needs blacken!"
 * "Ow, my feet!"
 * "Oh, my legs!"
 * "You spinnin' freak!"
 * "Oh, the pain!"
 * "Ow!"
 * "Ow, my tail!"
 * "You don't wanna start something with a professional cock fighter, boy!"
 * "Oh, my stomach!"
 * "Oh, that hurt a lot!"
 * "Chick, save me Chick! Chickkkk!"
 * "Oh, my stuffin'!"

Tutorial (PS2 version)

 * "Large obstacles or distances might require you to perform your first double jump to overcome them! How exciting! Press the X button, and then press the X button while still in the air to perform said double jump!
 * "OK, you've reached your first ladder. Somebody get a picture! To climb a ladder, press the X button to jump on and then press it again and again until you've reached the top."

Missions

 * "Crash Bandicoot, it is fine to see you this lovely day, my friend. Are you well? That's good! I have a little proposition for you. I've learned that my co-commentator Stew has wagered heavily on Cortex to win the deed to the park. It would do me well if he lost that wager. Bring me a Power Crystal and you can use this fine vehicle I'm standing beside now."
 * "You are surely joking, my friend. No Power Crystal means no car! Return when you have the means I require."
 * "Crash Bandicoot, once again you are here trying my patience! No Power Crystal means no car and no comeuppance from my so-called comrade commentator."
 * "Crash Bandicoot, can't you understand me? I won 'Most Articulate Announcer' three years in a row! It can't be me that's at fault, perhaps it's you! Get me a Power Crystal, PLEASE!"
 * "Excellent, my furry companion. Do your best and embarrass that no-good playboy I am forced to call my co-worker."

When attacked by Crash

 * "Oh good, more abuse."
 * "Ow, my stuffing!"
 * "The pain of it all!"
 * "I blame video games!"
 * "Ow, my shins!"
 * "Did my wife send you?!"
 * "Ow, my wings!"
 * "Holy original recipe!"
 * "Ow, my knees!"
 * "Ow!"
 * "The worst beating since Michigan versus San Jose, 1939."
 * "Ow, my dignity!"
 * "That was unnecessary!"
 * "Ow, my gizzard!"
 * "Newscaster down!"
 * "Ow, my beak!"
 * "Ow. my thighs!"
 * "I think you fixed my back."
 * "Chicken hate crime!"
 * "Ow! I'm gonna feel that tomorrow."

Meet the Dummkopfs

 * Chick: "Top o' the mornin' and a cock-a-doodle-doo sports fans. Chick Gizzard Lips here welcoming you to the farewell race at Von Clutch's MotorWorld."
 * Stew: "That's right, Chick baby, on what might be the final day of operation, Von Clutch will surely have to turn out the lights on his lifelong dream."
 * Chick: "Von Clutch, the deranged genius cyborg, has fabricated the ultimate auto racing theme park. Indeed, the park's tracks have reeked terror on its participants, too gruesome for this reporter to describe over the air!"
 * Stew: [off topic] "Well, I ain't got a problem with it. Man, you ever put a baked ham in a wood chipper? I know I have."
 * Chick: [attempting to get Stew back on topic] "Ahem."
 * Stew: "Oh sorry. But now ol' Von Clutch's Power Gems have been stolen, giving Von Clutch just a few hours to get his Power Gems back, or it's 'slam dunk, thank you, punk'".
 * Chick: "Ebenezer Von Clutch is now risking his park ownership in a high-stakes, no-holds-barred race. Race contestants must survive a gauntlet of each of the park's five lands and recover every one of the Power Gems that have been stolen."
 * Chick: [after the other racers crash into each other] "Well, sports fans, it appears that we have found our go-karts."

Mystery Island

 * Chick: "Thank you Mister Cheeks. Yes, race fans, a bounty of booty awaits you in this, our first race challenge. Thrill to the terrors of Tiki Turbo, endure the perplexing Pirates of the Carburetor, and defeat the insidious delusions of Deep Sea Driving! Master these dangerous tracks, and find greater challenge in the Battle Arena, where unhinged lunatics compete for trivial prizes! Isn't this exciting Stew!"
 * Stew: "You know I'm excited! Get goin' Crash, and show me what you've got!"

Happily After Faster

 * Chick: [introducing the Happily After Faster world] "Welcome everyone, in this wondrous land of enchantment, contestants test their mettle against the putrid forces of darkness! Race through the Track and the Beanstalk, Once Upon a Tire, and the ruthless Evilocity! Then test your wits on the Stunt Arena challenge."
 * Stew: "Man, I sure hope that Stinkin' Beauty goin' be as fine and shapely as she is in the storybooks."
 * Chick: "I second that emotion."

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

 * Stew: "Man, that Wumpa Cheek dude freaks me OUT!"
 * Chick: "Just don't let him touch you! Yes, sports fans, here you will race through a planet's violent beginnings."
 * Stew: "In this brutal world, contestants struggle with primeval race tracks like Fossil Fuel Injection, La Brea Car Pits, and the treacherous Tire and Ice. Keep sharp players, there's even a Battle Arena to test your mettle."

Halfway point

 * Chick: "I'm on, but who's on top? We're here with the valiant competitors to get their vivid impressions at this, the halfway point in the event."
 * Chick: "Ach, this is a wash. Phil, let's roll tape."

Follow the Wumpa Whip

 * Chick: "Zowie, sports fans, did you see that... [pushed aside by Cortex]"

Tomb Town

 * Stew: "I really hate that guy."
 * Chick: "Creepy yes, but how right he is, Stew! Within this haunted city of ancient-ish Egypt, resides the forbidding curse of Tomb Town. Within these hollowed walls and tacky gift shops, Von Clutch has created the ultimate in-Egyptian driving simulation."
 * Stew: "Well, for sure our racers are goin' to have a tough time here, Chicky-poo. They must first survive Dead Heat, make their way into Crash Test Mummies, and navigate through Pyramid Pass. And if that ain't enough, then the face the ultimate challenge deep within, the tomb of terror."
 * Chick: "Between the three track entrances and the exceptionally difficult battle arena, this may be the toughest one, race fans."

Countdown Begins

 * Chick: "Here we are, sports fans, the last hurrah. Crash Bandicoot has collected the final Power Gem and won himself the ownership of the park!"
 * Stew: "But with only a short time left, is it too late to retrieve the Black Power Gem and save the weakened [camera cuts to Von Clutch ceasing working] Ebenezer Von Clutch?

Astro Land

 * Chick: "Well, sports fans, welcome to Astro Land, where yesterday's dream of the future is the nightmare of today!"
 * Stew: "Whoa man, that's what the script says?! That's messed up!"
 * Chick: "Choose from many futuristic adventures by plunging deep into Uranus' Mine. Or careen through the celestial Craters on Uranus. And beware the deadly and dangerous Rings of Uranus."
 * Stew: "That's a lot of Uranus!"
 * Chick: "You're telling me."

I Hate Chicken

 * Chick: "And to the victors go the spoils. Congratulations, Bandicoots!"