Crash of the Titans script

The following is a list of quotes from the 2007 video game Crash of the Titans; they are listed alphabetically by character.

Aku Aku

 * "Listen up, corn dog. You help us or Crash is gonna sing you some knuckle music."
 * "I'll deal with them. I have been fighting Evil for many centurys."

Coco Bandicoot

 * "Your... hair is dumb!"
 * "Whip her butt and then we'll get pancakes! With cherry topping!"
 * "You did, Crash! Thanks, big brother!"
 * Crash! Help me get this gizmo working! At long last, the world will have a way to recycle butter! Hey, that was a good one! Ok ok, hand me the transpalooper. Ha ha, that purple thingy.
 * "Crash! Help!"

Doctor N. Gin

 * "Thank you, master!
 * "Thank you again!! Hotter than the first!"
 * "(Giggles) That's right, tough guy! Unless you want to buy a new stationery, you respect the master!"
 * "Oh, I know! Glossy!"
 * "Ah, come on. He didn't even have a cup."
 * "Crash, you fool! You are too late! It's time to drop the doom hammer on you. Eh, the doom hammer of doom... upon you, and... let's just dance, baby!"
 * "Of course not! Disgusting, filthy bandicoots! I hate them with cheese."
 * "They made it here! Now they'll help us save Doctor Cortex! / Don't be ridiculous, you stupid hominid! We're with Nina now! We're with the winner! / But Doctor Cortex is our friend... / You don't have any friends! He always kicked you in the tokus! And other... very... gentle spots! / But I liked it when he did that... / It was kinda fun... Listen. We make a deal with this filthy rodent and pie-nuts-face and they help us save the master. Then we shower them with doom! (giggles) / Yes! We shower them good! Right in the eyes! (giggles more) "
 * "I'll be good! I promise I'll be good! And once my precious master has been freed, I will gladly betray you!"
 * "You don't even look like a bandicoot!"
 * "Shh... It's okay. Anyway, get out of here."
 * "That's right, stupids! You have to go to Uka Uka's lab and stop him. That's where they make all the delicious mutants! Maybe your revolting sister is there, too. Eww... girls..."

Factory intercom announcements

 * "You have no one to blame... but your stupid face!"
 * "Ha ha! Ha ha! Who is the toady sidekick now?!"
 * "Shower him with fisticuffs! Or is it cuftifists? Gah, just hit him!"
 * "More polka themes or cantastic doom. Cabbage rolls and coffee!"
 * "Attention, revolting yet beloved Doom Monkey servants. Tomorrow is 'Make-Your-Child-Work-In-The-Corps Day. Be sure to bring your many rat-like offspring so we can make them do work considered unsafe for robots. Also, please note that Friday is Hawaiian Shirt Day, so try to find a sufficiently tacky shirt. That is all."
 * "Enjoy... your screaming doom!"
 * "More minions! I covet it! Victory!"
 * "Try this on for size, Mister Hairy Butt! Gross! I'm gonna be sick!"
 * "I wish my brother George was here. Oh, but he was always so superficial."
 * "I should do a bit on phonetic punctuation while I am up here."
 * "Oh, I love this part! I could be on Cyborg Idol if that show existed! Why don't they make that show?!"
 * "Running a little low on minions. I gotta wonder why I don't send them all in at once."
 * "Let's go, underlings, let's go! Let's go... let's see some team spirit out there!"
 * "Come on, everybody! Sing along! You all know the tune! Doooomy doomy-doooom doom... shooby-doomy-doomy doooom doom..."
 * "Oh, I am the worst thing to happen to music... since Andrew Lloyd Webber!"
 * "Stop him, minions! He is after my radioactive... rubber pants!"
 * "N-GIN! What does that spell? I don't know... Go get him, you revolting mutant slaves!"
 * "Oh you're going to love this part! Yes... Love it!"
 * "I'll ruin you like I ruined my prom!"
 * "Attention filthy monkeys! I have lost my toast recipe. Repeat, my family recipe for toast has been lost. The butter supply will be arriving shortly but I will have nothing to put it on! Somebody help me! I wrote the recipe down on a little post-it note, but can't find it. Also, Crash Bandicoot has been sighted, yada yada yada, peace up, homies."
 * "Attention disgusting Doom Monkeys! Crash Bandicoot is loose in the facility. Please take a moment to look around your workspace. If you find the bandicoot, please THROW HUGE BUGS ON HIM, and cause explosives and sharp things to fly into their bodies! (laughs) Reminder, tomorrow is muffin day in the cafeteria. Mmm, muffins! That is all."
 * "Maybe these little cupcakes will be your own doing. Mmmmmmm, cupcakes! You are like little cups of cake! I just told you what you already know."
 * "Spew out more bad guys! Do it!"

Doctor Neo Cortex

 * "Is... Is this thing on? Yeah? Ha ha! I'm back, babies! Surrender to Cortex!"
 * "Hey, genius. I can't actually hear you. I'm really far away and I'm flying like a hovercraft or something."
 * "I'm off to do bad things! Ta ta!"
 * "Crash, you gullible fool! You walked right into my trap. Now I'll have you and the Mojo!"
 * "How long have had that in your pants?"

When a Titan is jacked

 * "Not that guy! I liked that guy! As a friend..."
 * "Stop helping him! Snap out of it!"
 * "You were my favorite!"

When pursuing Crash

 * "Attack!"
 * "Bite and scratch him!"
 * "Consume bandicoot!"
 * "Crash Crash Crash Crash Crash!"
 * "Crash is here! Crash is here!"
 * "Finish him!"
 * "Hooray, let's fight!"
 * "Leeroy!"
 * "Monkey rage!"
 * "Give me bananas!"

When attacked by Crash

 * "Bully!"
 * "Why you do that?"

When killed by Crash

 * "Doom for monkey."
 * "I'm melting, I'm melting! Oh, what a world, what a world!"
 * "It's over."
 * "Remember me..."
 * "Will I dream?"
 * "Uncle!"
 * "Banana..."

Conversations
"Why are we here?"

"Boss Lady looking for bandicoot. Bandicoot come to stop us make boom things."

"Why we make boom things?"

''We make boom things for Boss Lady's robot. Biggest boom thing of all!"''

"(Laughs) Boom things fun!"

''"Boom things!" ''

Nina Cortex

 * "Take out the trash, girls!"
 * "Sorry, uncle, but it's time for some young blood to lead us to victory! And now that we have Coco, we can make her build the robot."
 * "Oh, I hope Crash tries. I really do. After all, I need a new fur coat. (laughs, then snorts)"
 * "Get to work on the Doominator! Make more mutant soldiers! I want Wumpa Island smashed flat!"
 * "Oh shut her up!"
 * "The mojo we stole on his working perfectly. We're making more loyal mutants soilders than we don't know what to do it!"
 * "Yo Uka, what's the matter with you?"
 * "And as for you, I really didn't want to do this myself. I really wanted one of my idiot underlings to destroy you. I really didn't want to get hair all over my clothes! But if you want something done right, use a giant spider-bot!"
 * "Kill Crash and we'll have punch. Who doesn't like punch?"

Coversations:
"Do you see anything?"

"Ooh, what am I looking for again? Help me out of here!"

"We're looking for the Bandicoot, you moronic simpleton! The greatest threat to lovely master's plans."

"But how can those rodents be a threat compared to us rodents into the likey and the like and-oh, so nice!"

"Well, allow me to educate you, my uneducated litte chump. Bandicoots: a medium sized marsupial-omivore from the order of paramella-morphleia."

"Honestly, yet everyone knows that. (odd noise)"

"But, what most people don't know is that paramella-morphleian creatures are immune to mojo control. Oh, I don't need that control."

"But that means they can never love their master!"

"Yes, you are down like a clown, my righteous colleague, so stay sharp! We have got bandicoots to subdue!"

"Science is fun!"

"Science, and learning. And maths, and, uh, arithmetic and geography."

"Do you see any bandicoots?"

"No, I don't see any bandicoots, so be quiet, you silly person!"

"Why is the boss kidnapping mutants? Dosen't he like us, like when he first made us? Oh, he was so romantic and lovely!"

"Oh, of course he likes us. That's crazy talk you're sayin there. He just needs more mutants and mojo to build a secret doomsday weapon!"

"What is he making?"

"Well, if I tell you it's not a secret, is it, you crazy silly, 'cause it's a secret, meaning it can't be said! Now, enough talk! Back to looking for bandicoots!"

When first noticing Crash

 * "There he is!"
 * "Wonderful. I was hungry!"
 * "Get Crash with the thing!"
 * "(laughs)"
 * "Aren't you lovely?"
 * "Quick! Sample it!"
 * "Capture him for the Mojo!"
 * "Oh, he looks juicy and delicious!"
 * "Sound the Alarm-O-Gram!"
 * "Beat him, in the nether regions. Because I personally enjoy that."

When unable to reach Crash

 * "The physics of him being there are just tremendous."
 * "You would think he's an Italian plumber or something. "
 * "I am ashamed, but I am unable to visualize the enemy at this time."
 * "You'd think he was a fast-moving hedgehog or something."
 * "You being up there is making me look bad down here."
 * "Help, he's leaving! It's shameful and annoying!"
 * "Stop, 'cause it's not a good thing!"
 * "Stop, 'cause it's not good. It's a thing that's... not good!"
 * "Dr. Cortex is gonna lose it if he gets away."
 * "Dr. Cortex is gonna lose it if he escapes."
 * "Yeah, and there's a new invention they call a stepladder. Go get one, stupid."
 * You're making me look bad up there."
 * "I shall file a complaint if you do not reengage."
 * "Where is he going, honestly?"
 * "Honestly, I have appointments to keep... return!" 

When killed by Crash

 * "Aborting!"
 * "Medic!"
 * "Avenge me!"
 * "Why me?!"

Uka Uka

 * "Oh yes. I will kill Crash Bandicoot. Kill him... forever."
 * "I'll get the last laugh! (laughs) I'm laughing now too just in case."
 * "That was ridiculous and appaling! You've failed to destroy Crash Bandicoot!"
 * "You worthless buddies, better get in here! Or it's nothing but liver and onions for a week!"


 * "So you little insect actually made it? Well I've prepared a little treat for you."


 * "I just love being a bully."


 * "NOW I'M JUST FURIOUS!"


 * "I'll grate you the cheese. Parmesan."
 * "I thought I could do this alone I was wrong help! "
 * "Not that part!. I love that part."
 * "Knock it off Uka. Knock it off."
 * Oh come on I need that one ! "
 * "How do you keep doing that ?"
 * "You're only winning because I'm not used to having legs!"
 * "You think you've defeated me? I'll get the last laugh on you fools! Any moment now Nina belongs to robot and Wumpa Island would be doom!"
 * "And Nina will have no more use for your lovely sister so she's finished too!"

When pursing Crash

 * "Delicious bandicoot! Make soup!"
 * "Get his carrots!"

When unable to reach Crash

 * "Come back here, Crash! Want moooore!"
 * "Just get back here, mister!"

Crash Bandicoot

 * "Woohoo!"
 * "Pancakes!"

Tiny Tiger

 * "I'm still cross about that last game. You didn't even invite me!"
 * "I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to eat your face."