List of quotes in Crash Tag Team Racing

The following is a list of quotes from the 2005 video game Crash Tag Team Racing; they are listed alphabetically by character.

When starting a race

 * "Finally, someone's letting me drive."

Missions

 * "Oh Crash! Thank goodness you're here! I've been trying to get this car working, but that stupid know-it-all nothing Nina stole my Fusion Unit. You gotta get it back for me! This car would be the best thing ever n' stuff."
 * "Crash, what are you doing back here? You go out there and get me that Fusion Unit. Please, big brother... This car would be the bestest thing I've ever built. It'll smoke the track with Nina, once and for all, heheheh!"
 * "Crash, where's the Fusion Unit? If this is a joke, I don't get it..."
 * "Ok Crash, What's the story here? I need that Fusion Unit so that I can show that stupid-faced Nina who's the best girl in the tracks so get moving!"
 * "Um, Crash, what are you doing back here? If you don't get me that modulator, I can't enter this car in the races and then I might lose! I can't lose! I just can't!!
 * "Crash, come on, let's go, maggot! Get the modulator for me already!!"
 * "Big brother, if you really wanna annoy me, can't you do normal big brother stuff, like noogies and headlocks or something like that?"

When attacked by Crash

 * "Wait until I tell Crunch! You are toast, buddy."
 * "You had to hit me. Just had to do it!"


 * "Im telling mom!... if we had one.'"


 * "Sticks and stones willeeeerrrrrrrr... MANIAC!"
 * "Hey! I'm a girl!"
 * "Circle the wagons we're under attack"

When clashing

 * "One-and-a-half heads are better than none."
 * "This is going to be so cool"
 * "Hey, not so hard!"

When flying through the air

 * "I don't feel so good."
 * "I was a bird in another life."
 * "Does this count for frequent flyer miles."

Missions

 * "Enough jibber-jabber! I need help. I found a ride that needs driving. You gonna help me, we bring the hurt. Eat your greens. Thud ol' Crunch a loan with low interest. I buy that ride a word, we bounce."
 * "What's wrong witchu, fool?! Shoulda stayed in school. You learn what number's bigger than another number. Become an accountant. Instead, you were chump. Chump that can't count! Crunch needs the coins. And brush your teeth. Looks like a checkerboard in there."
 * "You makin' me mad, Crash! Whatchu talkin' about witchu comin' back?! Bring the Crunch down! When Crunch is down, you get hurt. Don't bring the Crunch down! Down is for gophers. Crunch be no gopher! Mow the lawn when your parents ask you."
 * "Now you're just being crazy! You're like a monkey. A monkey that can't count! Don't pet stray dogs."
 * "Gotta respect you, Crash! When your big brother needs help, you give it. You're a tight dude! Let's roll the win! Use a washcloth!"
 * "Crash! I say Crash, boy! Come help out the Crunch. Crunch needs him some coins. Gonna play the Whac-a-Mole game, but I need coins to do it! Go get me a pile of coins. And brush your teeth."
 * "What's wrong witchu, fool?! That's not enough. You know that's not enough! Can't you count? Go back to school and get me the coins, boy."
 * "Crunch gettin' mad now. Ready to bring the hurt! Ready to do some whackin'. You come back here, no coins. Make Crunch mad! Listen to me good. Either them moles get whacked, or you do. Change your sheets once a week!"
 * "Crash, why you roundin' up the Crunch? You wanna see the hurt? Go make me some coins, fool!"
 * "Still no Pinky Bear?! Where are you, Pinky Bear?! Crunch can't nap without his Pinky Bear! Crunch tired. If Crunch be tired, Crunch... a little sad."
 * "Boy, you go grabbin' the bull by the horns, and believe me, you're gonna get milked! Drink your milk. It's time you learned that a pig in a poke is worth two in a bush. Now go get me that Pinky Bear!"

When attacked by Crash

 * "Ah, my spine! Sleep eight hours a day."
 * "Avenge me! Eat a balanced breakfast."
 * "Don't be a fool! Stay in school!"
 * "How could you do that?! I need work."
 * "Ouch! Chew with your mouth closed!"

When starting a race

 * "C'mon, children! Time to move!"
 * "I pity the fool who race against me!"
 * "Let's... get... bizzay!"

When destroying an opponent vehicle

 * "I burninated that chump!"

When flying through the air

 * "Crunch don't feel so good!"
 * "Darn it! Crunch hate to fly."
 * "I can see my house!"
 * "My therapist told me to avoid this!"

When clashing

 * "Who's ready for some double trouble?"
 * "Yeah! Teamwork!"

When declashing

 * "Go bling your blang elsewheres."
 * "Go get some milk, children. Get strong bones."
 * "You're just not strong enough. Get outside the house."

When running over a Park Drone

 * "Damn! Who dresses you?!"
 * "Ha! Ten points!"
 * "Might have to lay low in Mexico."
 * "Not even prison-pretty no more!"

When winning a race

 * "Stick and move! Stick and move!"

When attacked by Crash

 * "My eyeball! I love that eyeball!"
 * "Ow! That hurt! Thank you."
 * "Ow, my spleen is coming out! So that's what it looks like."
 * "Stop bullying me, man!"
 * "The pain... in my body... and organs... and body again..."
 * "You're trying to kill me, aren't you?! How can I ever thank you?!"

When passing an opponent vehicle

 * "I pass you like gas!"
 * "Take up a slower sport, like full-contact... duck-hunting or... something... with a duck."
 * "Try another sport. Like knitting!"
 * "Your mother is the speed limit now!"
 * "it's getting hard to see you back there"
 * "Some driver you are cold child"
 * "Now you will see what a real cyborg can do"
 * "Prehapes you need a speed boost" (laughs manically)

When brushing against an opponent vehicle

 * "I will catch you, and do... something... horrible to you!"
 * "That hurt my colon so much!"
 * "They should take your license... because you're stupid!"
 * "You rat-monkey-pig-dog!"
 * " I'd missed? HOW'D THAT HAPPEN!!!!!!!!"

When destroying an opponent vehicle

 * "Enjoy your screaming doom!"
 * "Reset your car so I can do that again."
 * "Take that, father! What? Did I say father?"
 * "Yes! Meet your doom, fool!"
 * "This is destiney"
 * "Take that, mister soccer!"

When destroyed by an opponent vehicle

 * Singing "Give my remains to science!"
 * Singing "I'm too pretty!"
 * "No! The sweet pain!"
 * "The delicious burning!"
 * "I regret nothing"
 * "Sweet mexican walnuts that hurts"

When flying through the air

 * "Quick! Shoot at civilians!"
 * "This... Okay, this is scaring me."
 * "Up in the sky! is a complete maniac!"
 * "Watch the skies..."
 * "There must be something I can shoot from up here!"
 * "Start bombing run Laughs"
 * "I... think I wet myself"

When clashing

 * "Cybernetic merge power... activate!"
 * "Form of... a killing machine!"
 * "Finally... i made a friend"
 * "That's just so cool"
 * "I will use your numbing for mechical parts"
 * "Victory is assured now"

When declashing

 * "I can't be seen with a freak like you!"
 * "You and me... just aren't working out. It's me. It's not you."
 * "You just can't cut the cheese, pal!"
 * "Yeah... you need to go!"
 * "I'm through sucking up to you"
 * "I grow tired of you"
 * "Seriously you'll just not evil enough"
 * "So long... LOSER!!"

When running over a Park Drone

 * "He was asking for it!"
 * "Hey! Don't scratch my car!"
 * "They'll reanimate you later."
 * "Stay down, little man! Stay down!"
 * "Take that, you freak!"
 * "The smack is like music! Sweet music!"
 * "You bring me joy with your doom!"

When winning a race

 * "Aww, poor little baby can't aim! Why can't you aim, little baby?"
 * "Perhaps you need a head-rocket of your own, monkey-face!"
 * "Villagers with torches couldn't catch me! What chance do you have?!"
 * "Well, when life gives you lemons'... lock foward torpedoes!"
 * "You were fools to challenge me. FOOLS!!"

Missions

 * "Oh, it's you, Crash. Look, there's something fishy going on here, and I don't mean the salmon churros. I need to do a little sneaking around, but I can't, because... My head's too big! I mean, look at me. I stick out like a chocolate bar in a swimming pool! If I'm going to get to the bottom of this, you'll need to get me something black and slimming to wear. I don't wan't my butt to look so big!"
 * "Look, why are you back here if you don't have what I need? Crash, listen to me, and try to get this through your furry skull. If you want answers, you'll need to get me something black and fetching!"
 * "Ugh... Why are you still here and talking to me, Crash? Go... Go on... Fetch!"
 * "Crash, I swear, if you bother me once more, it's laser to the eyeball time!"
 * "Oh, now this is nice! I can go anywhere in this little number! Whoever's behind all this won't know what hit them. Oh, and take this Power Crystal. I found it in a dumpster covered in that disgusting Wumpa Whip, so... I don't want to keep it."
 * "Oh, Crash! Um... Coco asked me to get this car working for her but it's missing a key engine component. If you find a set of high-quality gears, would you bring them to me?"
 * "Oh, good. It'll make your sister so happy."
 * "Crash, you blithering imbecile! Can't you do anything right? You're the worst mutation I've ever created! Bring me those gears, now!!"
 * "Crash, why are you back here? You're making me very... uh... You're making your sister sad..."
 * "Crash, you cantankerous twerp! What are you even doing back here?"
 * "Shut Up!! Get me that gear!"

When interacting with Crash

 * "Ah, yes. Crash, my dear boy. Haven't you some train tracks to play on?"
 * "Crash! What a surprise! I have a blaster gun with your name on it! Wait here."
 * "Crash! You really must assist me, dear boy. I dropped my chewing gum in that wood chipper over there. Would you be so kind as to retrieve it for me?"
 * "Crash! You're looking very fit and trim! Those pilates are doing wonders for your figure."
 * "Hello, Crash Bandicoot! Goodbye, Crash Bandicoot."
 * "Hello Crash. It's always a torture- uh, I mean pleasure to see you."
 * "Hey Crash! Willie Wumpa Cheeks has a dripping problem with his Wumpa Pumpa. Why don't you go plug it up?"
 * "Oh, do I despise that orange-pelted rodent. Uhh... ah, Crash! My old pal! I was just on a tirade about you!"
 * "Salutations, my dear Crash. Very soon I shall find you a new home in the afterlife."
 * "Ugh! Crash Bandicoot, stop hounding me!"
 * "Why Crash Bandicoot! My old friend! Have you ever heard the Cortex proverb that revenge is a dish best served with fava beans? Hmm. Well remind me to tell you sometime."
 * "Yes, yes! Don't bother me, Crash! Can't you see I'm working on your demise?! The nerve!"

When attacked by Crash

 * "I thought you liked me!"
 * "It's juvie all over again!"
 * "Just back off, man!"
 * "Meanie!"
 * "Nobody makes me bleed from there!"
 * "Oh, the pain of it all!"
 * "Stop it, please!"
 * "The pain! The sweet pain!"
 * "When I get my ray gun, you're through!"
 * "Why me?! I'm so pretty!"
 * "Why would you do that?!"
 * "You can't do that to me! No one can!"

When starting a race

 * "After I win, I want to be hand-fed grapes and drink lots of creamy soda."
 * "Attention, everyone! Follow me!"
 * "Fill 'er up and check my oil!"
 * "How much longer till we get there?!"
 * "I bore easily. Do try and keep up."
 * "It's okay everyone. I'll hold back a bit to keep it interesting."
 * "May the best cheat win!"
 * "My, my. So many balloons of hope for me to pop."
 * "Now, I may attack other drivers. Okay, I will attack other drivers."
 * "Now, when the flag lowers, everyone, hit reverse!"
 * "Okay, dregs of society! Time to learn who the real mad doctor is here!"
 * "Soon you will all taste the sour conception of defeat!"
 * "This race is a trivial challenge to a genius like me!"
 * "Wait, wait, I'm not buckled in!"

When starting from a standstill

 * "Let's see what this thing could do!"
 * "1.2 gigawatts of power!"
 * "Burn baby burn! Like a disco inferno!"
 * "Down, boy! Steady!"
 * "Engage!"
 * "Fear my fossil fueled wrath!"
 * "Hey! Pretty good pickup in this heap!"
 * "I am Cortex, hear me roar!"
 * "I feel the need! The need for acceleration!"
 * "I just love when that happens."
 * "Impressive! Most impressive!"
 * "I've got lots of torque! And I'm not afraid to use it!"
 * "Ladies react very favorable to that."
 * "Mad scientist coming through!"
 * "Nice skid marks!"
 * "Oh, I love that rumbling sensation!"
 * "Rolling rolling rolling!"
 * "Such power! Such speed! I'm such a catch!"
 * "Who's your daddy?"
 * "Yeehaw!!"

When passing by an opponent vehicle

 * "The last time I saw a car like that, someone was feeding it hay!"
 * "I'm funky fresh and Beautiful"

When brushing against an opponent vehicle

 * "Save the brain!"
 * "Mad scientists have the right of way... Jerk!"
 * "I would've hit him, but this game is rated 'E'."
 * "I skinned my knee!"
 * "Hmm... I must have my contacts checked."
 * "My skills of nearsightedness caused that!"
 * "I'm getting the sneaking suspicion that this park is not entirely safe."
 * "Ugh! What sicko came up with this ride?"
 * "Excuse me, gamer, are you TRYING to make me lose?!"
 * "Why can't I get the elbow room I deserve?"
 * "Watch the paint, watch the paint!"
 * "Hey there buddy, this isn't California you know!"
 * "Blast you, Sunday driver!!"
 * "That's no way to treat a man on his way to church!"
 * "Send a bill to the office!"
 * "There goes my good insurance rate!"

When brushing against a wall

 * "¿Dónde están mis pantalones?"
 * "Great! I just washed this vehicle!"
 * "Summon my proctologist!"

When flying through the air

 * "Breaker one nine, here comes rubber ducky!"
 * "If madmen were meant to fly, our cheeks would be filled with helium!"
 * "Now this is what I call an E-ticket ride!"
 * "Okay Luke, I'm starting my run!"

When running over a Park Drone

 * "An evil maniac's gotta do what an evil maniac's gotta do!"
 * "Cry all you want! I can't hear you! Lalalalalalalalalala!"
 * "Heavens! I enjoyed that too much!"
 * "It's really not my policy to pick up hitchhikers."
 * "Yes! Like a deer in the headlights!"
 * "Officer, he just walked right onto the road!"
 * "I haven't laughed like that since I was a schoolgirl!"
 * "I really ought to go back and pick him up. Not!"
 * "My, my, was that you?"

When winning a race

 * "Who let the canines out? Woof! Woof, woof!"
 * "You want to try that again, smarty -pants?"
 * "Ohh, I get it. You're TRYING to hit me."
 * "Nice shot. Next time, try AIMING!"
 * "Nice try! Next time, open your eyes when firing!"
 * "I'm quick and nimble like a little cockroach."
 * "Oh, Cortex, when will they ever learn?"
 * "Is I good or is I good?"

Missions

 * "Oh. It's you, Crash. Look, as much as it pains me to say this, I need your help. There's this sweet car I wanna get, but I need a little more money. You... Ugh, this is so lame! You have to get me a job. Snuffle around and find me a job. P-- Pl-- Please."
 * "What? You wanna see me beg?! Ugh. I don't think so!"
 * "Crash, what are you doing? Look, peon, stop trying my patience. Get me that job if you know what's good for you."
 * "I am through dealing with you, Crash. God, it's like talking to soap! Don't come back here until you've gotten me that job!"

When interacting with Crash

 * "Can't you see I'm planning Armageddon here?"
 * "Go away! I am allergic to fleas!"
 * "Is there something I can help you with?"
 * "Crash! Aren't you supposed to be defeating my uncle somewhere?"


 * "So you're the villian I've been warned about... rad."


 * "My uncle says you should give me any coins you've collected."
 * "Back off, Furball!"
 * "Have you come to deliver me from boredom?"

When attacked by Crash

 * "I'm telling!"

When flying through the air

 * "Death from above!"
 * "I wish I could stay up here always."
 * "I feel like a demagog!"
 * "I'm a great bird of doom!"
 * "I feel like a airbourne Virus"

When running over a Park Drone

 * "Let that be a lesson to you all."
 * "Immoral? Possibly. Satisfying? Absolutely!"
 * "Not a hint of guilt here!"
 * "Great, now my tires need cleaning."
 * "Tell it to the bionic hands!"

When Clashing with oppenent vehicle

 * "Super size me!"
 * "Trust me, this will improve your odds."
 * "We form into a pinata of desruction!"
 * "How fortunate you are to clash with the likes of me!"
 * "Together, we shall unleash super size amounts of pain!"

When destroyed by oppenent vehicle

 * "Rise my dark stallian! ... Please?"
 * "I will rebuild you in the image of your former self!"
 * "Don't leave me this way!"
 * "I will remember this sacrafise with sorrow! Really!"
 * "Apparently he doesn't know who I am!"
 * "Sleep my pretty! Sleep..."
 * "Stay away from the light!"
 * "It was not in vain, little car!"
 * "Oh the pain!"
 * " I will never replace you, next car please"

When blasting other vechicles

 * "Breaking things makes me happy!"
 * "What else can I break around here?"
 * "Bad girl, bad girl! Whatcha gonna do?"
 * "My wrath is cold and hard."
 * "I am cyborg! Hear me roar!"
 * "Judge me by my size, do you?"
 * "Who says it's not fun being anti-social?"
 * "Witness the fate of my opponent!"
 * "I feel so alive!"
 * "You make me do this to you!"

When Declashing

 * "It just wasn't working out, okay?"
 * "I need a change of scenery. See ya!"
 * "Was it good for you to?"
 * "I'm done with this!"
 * "Parting is such sweet sorrow!"
 * "Don't call me. I'll call you."

When starting a race

 * "I'll be watching what everyone does."
 * "I'll write you a postcard from the finish line."
 * "Turning out the lights, the party's starting!"
 * "Engage, Number One!"
 * "Cower mortal slime!"
 * "I just had my braces tightened, so BRING IT ON!"

When winning a race

 * "And that's how it's done!"
 * "Ya have to get up pretty early in the morn..."

When attacked by Crash

 * "Ah! Park security!"
 * "I will be revengified for that."
 * "I thought you were a good guy!"

When starting from a standstill

 * "I peeled that like a banana!"
 * "Two plus two equals... um... cornbread?"

When brushing against a wall

 * "I must be balled up or som'thin'!"
 * "It's okay, just slap some Miracle Whip on it!"
 * "It's okay, honey. It hurts me more than you."
 * "Just spray some Cheeze Whiz down there, it'll be alright."
 * "Looks like I had a little too much hoo-ich on, I figure."
 * "Well, nothin' a lil' bacon fat can't fix."

When flying through the air

 * "'Scuse me while I touch the sky!"

When declashing

 * "In the game of checkers, you gotta lose a few pawns."
 * "You're old like AM radio!"

When running over a Park Drone

 * "Hmm... I can scrape 'im up later an' make some pie!"

Missions

 * "Hey Crash, I think you're liking this car, ya? Perhaps I will give it to you for many park tokens... Many!"
 * "What is this? Oh, surely you are joking, Crashikins, ya? Joking... You cannot buy a ride on mein jolly jumper with this few coins!"
 * "Again you return without the coins I asked for. ...ha ha ha... This is a joke, ya? Another one of your funnies. Oh, it is to laugh..."
 * "Und now the joke is a little tired, ya? Why do you do this? Hey, come back here! Perhaps you like Von Clutch, ya? Perhaps Von Clutch should embrace you."

When interacting with Crash

 * "Hello! Have you seen Willie Wumpacheeks? I'm thirsty!"
 * "Ah! Who are you? What are you wanting with me?"
 * "Oh my goodness! Crash Bandicoot! My videogame hero! I'm wanting autograph, ya?"

When starting a race

 * "Ya, ya, ya. May the best cyborg win. And we all know who that is."
 * "I do hope my dear mommy is watching on the crystal box. Hello mommy!"
 * "I love the sweet stench of burning rubber!"
 * "My surging power, she is hard to contain, ya?"

When destroying opponent vehicle

 * "Look at me! Driving foolish and crazy!"
 * "Von Clutch impresses you with violent 'choices, ya?"
 * "Stop your grinnin' and grab your linen!"
 * "Tally ho!"
 * "I'm terribly sorry... NOT!"
 * This is what happens when you play with fire and i'm all flame"
 * "Ho ho don't do that at home Kiddes"
 * "My skills are sharp like razor ya"
 * "This is done on a closed track with a professoinal driver ... NOT!"

When being destroyed by opponent vehicle

 * "Well that was painful. Now I cry!"
 * "Abandon Ship! Abandon Ship"
 * "This is a long way to walk home"
 * "Medic!"

When running over a Park Drone

 * "Oh, my most sincere apologies! Ha!"
 * "Oh, Von Clutch is so sorry! Hee hee hee!"
 * "I know that shouldn't feel good. But it does!"

Missions

 * "Ol' Stewbie-doo needs a little help from you. You see, Ol' Stew has been runnin' around the hen house again and some ol' nasty chicken's been leavin' our eggs all over the place. If I don't find those eggs, my old lady will kill Stew. Go get me those eggs, boy! I'll make it worth your while."
 * "What's wrong with you boy? Stew said all the eggs!"
 * "Crash! Whatcha doin' to me, man? My missus will pluck me down to the gizzard if she sees those eggs, and I'm mysteriously rootin' from the spot! I... can't... move!"
 * "You just toyin' with the Stew, ain'tcha? This is how you get your kicks, playin' with ol' Stew when he's in a jam. Stew needs a hug!"