Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time script



This page is comprised of transcriptions of all the cutscenes in Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time.

Intro
Neo Cortex: "Crash Bandicoot. At last I, the great Neo Cortex, have you right where I want you... And now the final blow! Nyugh!"

[Cortex repeatedly attacks the Crash doll, much to N. Tropy's annoyance.]

N. Tropy: "Hush, simpleton!"

Uka Uka: "Hyuuuurgh-ahhh!"

Neo Cortex: "Face it, N. Tropy, it's going to fail. Again."

[The camera moves to the left, showing how many times failure has been achived (being 22 failed attempts). The camera then focuses on N. Tropy.]

N. Tropy: "At least Uka Uka and I attempt to free us from this prison! I won't sit idly by--" *clenches fist* "--and listen to your insane ramblings for another decade! And the way you chew."

Uka Uka: "Hyuuuahhhhhhh!!! Ahuugh!"

[Uka Uka finally opens a dimensional rift as the rocks briefly float, but consequently faints soon after the rocks fall.]

Neo Cortex: "Is he dead?"

[Cortex taps Uka Uka with his stick in concern, seeing if he would react, but it results in no reaction from the mask himself.]

N. Tropy: "Leave him. He's served his purpose. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

[As N. Tropy is laughing, the camera zooms closer to the rift until we see nothing but pitch black, with the logo suddenly revealing itself. The pitch black then goes away after a short bit to focus on a part of N. Sanity Island. N. Tropy's laugh can still be heard, but distantly.]

Aku Aku: "A great power has awoken."

[The camera then shows Crash currently taking a nap as Aku Aku informs him about the situation.]

Aku Aku: "Crash, I fear it portends an event of reality-shattering proportions. I feel it emanating from N. Sanity Peak. Quickly, we must go!"

[Aku Aku notices that Crash is still napping and makes an angry face.]

Aku Aku: "Crash. Crash! CRASH!"

[Crash finally wakes up, bouncing off the couch and falling to the ground in sudden shock.]

Lani-Loli
[Crash finds a sleeping Quantum Mask named Lani-Loli. However, the awoken Lani-Loli sees Crash accidentally set a trap. Crash then sees a trap been triggered, which opens a trap door. Crash grabs Lani-Loli as they fall down. Lani-Loli then sees a monster lurking. Crash then gets up, curious with a strange sound. He sees a frightened Lani-Loli, then turns around and sees a monster in fear.]

Lani-Loli: "Ahhhh ahh ahhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"

Quantum Rift
[Crash quickly catches up with Lani-Loli, right at the edge of the peak. Crash feels relieved that he almost fell and got past the monster. Suddenly, the monster's arm appears and goes after Crash.]

Lani-Loli: "Ah ah no, no-no-no no way! Not in million yea--"

[Crash jumps off and grabs Lani-Loli.]

Lani-Loli: "Yeaaaaaaaargh!"

[Somewhere at the bottom of the peak, Coco is checking her tablet.]

Lani-Loli: "Yiiii! Get him off! Get him off! Get him off!"

Coco: "Crash? Who is that?"

Aku Aku: "Lani-Loli? If the Quantum Masks have returned then..."

Lani-Loli: "Ack! Ack! Ack! Hey Aku, how's it g-g-gah?! Is that a QUANTUM RIFT?!"

[Lani-Loli breathes in panic.]

Coco: "It appears to be a door between dimensions."

Lani-Loli: "Yes! Yes! The kind we keep shut! We have to go through, find my siblings, and fix this before some putz with a big evil plan and a bigger ego does something monumentally stupid!"

[Scene wipes to Cortex scratching his butt, yawning.]

N. Tropy: "Uka Uka unknowingly paved the way for our bright future. Once my Rift Generator is complete, dominion over all time and space will be within our grasp!"

Neo Cortex: "N. Gin, N. Brio... you had some little projects you wanted to tell me about?"

N. Gin: "Master, my mechanical marvel will hypnotize you an army!"

N. Brio: "And my potion will make me--uhh--them unstoppable!"

Neo Cortex: "Right, yeah, fine, sure. Have fun with your... ray guns, or whatever."

[As N. Gin and N. Brio head to their respective rifts, they bump right into each other. Then they would fight each other.]

N. Tropy: "Hasten your steps! By my calculations, our enemies are already moving against us. And We. Will. Prevail."

N. Gin
[Crash, Coco, and Lani-Loli arrive at the Hazardous Wastes.]

Coco: "So we need the other masks to close the rifts?"

Lani-Loli: "Correct! Now my brother Akano is around here somewhere..."

N. Gin: "Welcome to the show, vermin! Looking for your precious mask?"

Lani-Loli: "Behold, the aforementioned putz."

Coco: "Don't worry. We have a thing where we fight, he loses. It's a well-established dynamic."

N. Gin: "Not this time! I've got a backstage pass for you to get up close and personal with my weapon of mass percussion! Come ready to rock!"

RAWK-IT Head
N. Gin: "Alright, all you bloodthirsty lunatics! Put your freakin' little hands together for... RAWKIT HED!"

[The Weapon of Mass Percussion activates as the audience cheers.]

N. Gin: "1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4!"

N. Gin: "Prepare for a beating, bandicoot!"

N. Gin: "You're ruining my solo!"

N. Gin: "Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it!"

N. Gin: "Stay away from my robot!"

N. Gin: "What's a matter? You don't like death metal?"

N. Gin: "No bandicoots allowed on the stage!"

N. Gin: "The show must go on!"

N. Gin: "My equipment!"

N. Gin: "You really know how to make me mad!"

N. Gin: "We'll do this the hard way."

N. Gin: "Will you stop interrupting?"

N. Gin: "Nooooooo!"

N. Gin: "Ahhhhhh!"

Chasing 'Akano
N. Gin: "Ow! Ow! Ow..."

[Crash, Coco, and Lani-Loli laughs at N. Gin.]

N. Gin: "My beautiful creation..."

[Akano falls onto N. Gin's head, rending him unconscious and bounces into the rift.]

Lani-Loli: "Ahhh! 'Akano!"

[Crash, Coco, and Lani-Loli go after Akano by running up to the rift and enter it.]

A Familiar Face
[The unknown bandicoot sees Crash and Coco held captive by pirates.]

???: "Hang on, guys! I'm coming!"

Alternate Universe Tawna
Coco: "Thank you so much-- wait. Tawna?! But you're... different! You're not from our universe!"

Tawna: "It's good to see you guys. It's been a long time for me."

Coco: "We lost touch in your universe too, huh?"

Tawna: "Yeah... you could say that."

Coco: "Hehehe. What'd we like, die or something?"

Tawna: "What? No! Nope! No! What! Ha! No! Definitely not! So how are things in your dimension?" *sniffs* "Ahem."

Coco: "The usual. A bunch of evil scientists attempting interdimensional domination."

Tawna: "Huh! So uh, watcha collecting? Crystals? Gems?"

Coco: "Masks."

Tawna: "Ooh fun. Well, good luck with that."

Coco: "Wait, you're not coming?"

Tawna: "Sorry, I fly solo. But I'll-I'll lend a hand where I can. In fact, I already have..."

Akano
Lani-Loli: "Akano! Old Dark Matter himself! Careful, Crash, he's heavier than he--"

[Crash accidentally drops Akano, which lands on his foot.]

Crash: "Ahhhhhh!"

Lani-Loli: "Oh, good, you're awake. Alright! Two masks down, two to go! Feeling a little less panicked. I was at a 10 before, now I'm at a solid... let's say 9.78888. Oh yeah, these bandicoots are here to help."

Akano: "Ban-di-coot. ...hmm. Follow."

Lani-Loli: "Short and to the point. Love this guy!"

Doctor Nitrus Brio's Tests
[Coco and Lani-Loli arrive in Tranquility Falls. The rift began to shrink as it spits Crash right into the gong.]

Coco: "So where's the next mask?"

Lani-Loli: "Not here. If these chucklenuts weren't punching holes in reality, we could open our own rifts. For now we're stuck taking the long route. But I sense another rift around here somewhere... Ahhhhh!"

[Lani-Loli flew into Crash's arms. Then Crash jumps into Coco's arms with Lani-Loli still in Crash's arms while Coco having a disappointed look on her face.]

N. Brio: "Friends! I have a little fun game for you to play! I've got a reward for the clever bandicoots who can reach my testing grounds... but you'll have to defeat my deadly diabolical creations along the way! Muahahahaha!"

Fight N. Brio
N. Brio: "Muhahahahaha! Oh good, you've arrived! And now for your reward!"

N. Brio Defeated
[N. Brio, currently in his monster form, falls down to the ground screaming in defeat. Once he lands on the ground, a potion suddenly falls on him, causing another transformation to occur.]

An Unexpected Birth
[The camera then shifts focus to Crash and Coco, with the two seemingly reacting to what N. Brio has now become. The bandicoots soon feel victorious and begin to make their way out of the arena. Suddenly, N. Brio flies up and quickly descends to the ground, showing that he's transformed into a pterodactyl.]

N. Brio: "And now for my final t-t-test. Taste my reptilian wrath!"

[All of a sudden, N. Brio gets an unexpected feeling from his stomach.]

N. Brio: "Auagh!"

[N. Brio closes his wings in response to the feeling.]

N. Brio: "...my cloaca..."

[Something comes out of N. Brio.]

N. Brio: "Bwaa!?"

[It is then shown that N. Brio has laid an egg.]

N. Brio: "Ughhh...oww...oohh..."

[The embarrassed N. Brio flies away. Coco is in horror of what she just saw. Contrary to Coco's reaction, Crash seems happy and plays around with the egg that N. Brio just laid.]

Coco: "Let's get out of here."

[Coco drags Crash out of the arena with the egg in his hand.]

Dingo's Diner
[As Dingodile walks around the swamp, his stomach growls.]

Dingodile: "Ohoho, crikey, I'm starved! Wait, is that...?"

Dingodile: *sniff sniffff* "Roadkill Pie?" *sniff sniff* "Slug and centipede gumbo?" *sniff sniff* "Braised bat tacos with gaunamole?"

[Dingodile is happily surprised when he finds the source of the smell, being his very own restaurant: Dingo's Diner.]

Dingodile: "Well now, what have we got here?"

[Scene then reveals a TV in a room, showing that what we saw was a commercial for Dingo's Diner all along. The commercial continues.]

Dingodile: "Tired of that vile swill Papa Batfield cooks up in his filthy outhouse? C'mon down to Dingo's Diner!" *winks*

Disclaimer: "Food served as Dingo's Diner may not meet the legal definition of "food." Consume at your own risk."

Disclaimer: "Side effects of dining at Dingo's diner may include fatigue, increased body odor, risk-seeking behavior, thinking too much about your uncle, increased hunger, decreased hunger, alienation from friends and family..."

[As the disclaimer goes on, footsteps can be heard and noticed by Dingodile. He goes up to a window and takes a look. Much to his suspicion, a trio of mutated bats go up to Dingo's Diner with TNT crates and other items.]

Disclaimer: "...skin irritation, ennui, leaky orifices, oozing orifices, glowing orifices,--"

Dingodile: "Oi, you buggas stay outta my diner!"

[Dingodile punches his RV in anger.]

Disclaimer: "--additional orifices, gas, wumpa cheeks, remembering that girl from high school - what's she up to? Do you think she's happy?"

[Dingodile takes his vacuum gun and readies it up as he gets out of his RV to go after the bats.]

Disclaimer: "And profuse vomiting. No shirts, no shoes, no bats!"

Kupuna-Wa
Kupuna-Wa: "Wah? What time is it? Oh goodness, I ought to know... Crash! Coco! C'mon, give old Kupuna-Wa a kiss, eh? Ehehehe! Mwah!"

[Kupuna-Wa kisses Crash, with the poor bandicoot briefly fainting soon after.]

Kapuna-Wa: "Don't look at me like I broke wind at a wedding. I'm time! I see everything! And I mean everything. There's some very unexpected developments in your future. Your very near future. SHOCKING events that will CHANGE THE COURSE OF YOUR LIFE--"

Lani-Loli: "Yeah just gonna stop you there before you tell us how we all die!"

Kupuna-Wa: "Well, if you'd rather not know about the GIANT, mask eating monster from beyond the stars...

Lani-Loli: "Leaving now!"

Kupuna-Wa "...that is your choice!" *chuckles*

Cortex's Warning
Neo Cortex: "Crash Bandicoot. You banished me to the past, but all it did was give more time to plan your doom. You'll find me up the mountain. Don't freeze on the way."

Lani-Loli: "Wow, you know I'm sensing a real fraught history here. How many have you beaten this clown anyway?"

Coco: "Three."

Lani-Loli: "Really only three?"

[Crash nods, implying that Coco really is correct.]

Lani-Loli: "Funny, seemed like more."

Bandicoot Barb-ACHOO!
Neo Cortex: (laughing)"Just the few more steps and you'll be bandicoot- Bar--barba-ACHOO!"

[Cortex accidentally pressed the button after sneezing.]

Neo Cortex: Aghhh!

[Cortex's eye twitched after realizing what he did.]

It's About Time
Neo Cortex: "CRASH BANDICOOT. It's about time. This is going to be just like the old days... except this time everything will go according to my plan. Hahahahahahahaha!"

N. Tropy's Plan
Neo Cortex: "Blasted bandicoots! *groans* Must we keep going around and around like this? Tell me, Crash, is this all there is, forever?"

[Crash shrugs.]

Neo Cortex: "Ughhh..."

N. Tropy: "I knew you would be unable to handle this simplest of tasks."

Neo Cortex: "Gloat all you want, I quit. If you need me, I'll be on a tropical island somewhere. Alone."

N. Tropy: "How fortunate. You see, I no longer have need for our alliance. I've found a new partner... and a new plan."

Neo Cortex: "You were scheming behind my back?!"

N. Tropy: "Of course! The Rift Generator has capabilities beyond your meager imagination. You went content to simply rule over space and time, but I'd rather start from scratch. Erase it all. Wipe the slate clean. I'm going to reset the timeline and rebuild it to my liking. I will become a god. Which means YOU won't exist, and neither will those featherbrained masks, or those meddling marsupials! Hahahahahaha!"

Neo Cortex: "Wiped from existence by that pompous peacock?! I'd like to see him try after I shove that tuning fork up his--"

Coco: "BUT not if we get him first."

Neo Cortex: "It appears we have a common enemy. Perhaps there's a way out of our endless cycle after all."

[Crash hugs Cortex.]

Neo Cortex: "Huh? Okay... umm... hmmm... hm."

Ika-Ika
[Crash, Coco and Cortex walk up to Ika-Ika, who is sleeping.]

Lani-Loli: "WAKE UP!"

[This would've startled Ika-Ika, as they flipped the gravity to them.]

Ika-Ika: "Bwah? Goodness, if it isn't Lani-Loli! How are you, brother?"

Coco: "Uhhh, sorry to interrupt but existence could end in any minute so can we hurry?"

Ika-Ika (downer personality): "When's existence ever done anything for anyone, anyway?"

[Ika-Ika flips everyone, bringing them back down.]

Ika-Ika: "Oh don't mind grumpy gus, he's always a downer."

Ika-Ika (downer personality): "Yeah don't mind me. I don't matter. Nothing matters."

Coco: "Now that we found Ika-Ika, that's all four! What's next?"

Lani-Loli: "We can't close the rifts until we stop whatever is opening them."

Neo Cortex: "That would be N. Tropy and his precious "Rift Generator"."

Coco: "Sounds like it's time to kick some N. Tropy butt!"

Doctor Nefarious Tropys
[Crash, Coco, and Neo Cortex falling from the rift.]

Dingodile: "Crikey!"

[They fall right onto Dingodile.]

Coco: "Dingodile?!"

Dingodile: "Easy, chums. If I was here to fight you'd be cactus."

Tawna: "He's with me. Found him lost out there. Caught up on the whole... Time, space, y'know, thing."

Dingodile: "Yeah. Just tryin' to get home. I was enjoying the retired life, see."

Coco: "Got it. Our bad guy's had a change of heart too."

Neo Cortex: "'Bad guy'?"

N. Tropy: "Silence, whelp!"

N. Oxide: "But, sir!"

N. Tropy: "You try my patience, Oxide."

N. Oxide: "But--"

N. Tropy (F): "Now, now. I'm sure this insect knows how to obey order."

Tawna/Neo Cortex: "N. Tropy!"

N. Tropy: (F): "Take your ship to Planet Bermugula and be on the lookout for ships approaching The Rift Generator. We can't afford any unwanted visitors."

N. Oxide: "At once, your foulness!"

N. Tropy: "(flirtatiously) You manage our affairs with such poise."

N. Tropy (F): "(flirtatiously) Naturally. As do you."

[Both N. Tropys flirt each other, only for Oxide to find it uncomfortable. Male N. Tropy makes a catlike sound of affection. Female N. Tropy chuckles affectionately.]

Coco: "Blaurgh."

[Cortex shakes his head, disgustedly.]

Tawna: "Ugh. Barf."

[Dingodile nudges Crash.]

Dingodile: "Ehehehehe."

Tawna Goes Alone
Coco: "It looks like we're on route to the Rift Generator. But we'd be a lot faster in... that!"

[As Crash and Coco about to go to Oxide's cart, Tawna prevents them from going with her grappling hook.]

Coco: "What the-?! Tawna?"

Tawna: "I'm not losing you guys in this dimension too. I'll handle this."

Coco: "But... we're a team..."

Dingodile: "Oi! What'd I miss?"

Doctor Nefarious Tropys Fight
[Tawna is taken down by N. Tropy (F), with Tawna then being grabbed at the neck by N. Tropy (F)'s tuning fork.]

N. Tropy (F): "What's the matter, hero? Couldn't solo this one."

Coco: "Let her go!"

N. Tropy (F): "The last time I killed her friends, her screams were exquisite."

N. Tropy: "(Flirtatiously) Delicious."

Tawna: "No!"

N. Tropy: "Let's make this fun. Give them a sporting chance!"

N. Tropy (F): "Ooh!"

[N. Tropy (F) throws Tawna at the ground, ending up near Crash, Coco, Cortex, and Dingodile.]

N. Tropy (F): "Let's see what you mongrels can do as a pack."

[The N. Tropys use their tuning forks in unison to send Crash and Coco into a rift that suddenly opens up. Akano arrives and sees Crash and Coco unconscious.]

Akano: "AWAKE."

[The bandicoots wake up.]

Akano: "FOLLOW."

Collect Bumpa Berries when traveling to the rift
Coco: "...a door between dimensions..."

Aku Aku: "...reality-shattering proportions..."

Coco: "...interdimensional domination..."

Lani-Loli: "...something-something-something monumentally stupid!..."

N. Gin: "...RAWK-IT Head!..."

Coco: "...not-not-not from our universe!..."

Tawna: "...I fly-I fly-I fly solo...."

Akano: "...ban-ban-ban-di-coot..."

Kapuna-Wa: "...I mean-I mean everything..."

Neo Cortex: "...is this-is this-is this all there is, forever?..."

N. Tropy: "...a new-a new-a new-a new partner..."

Neo Cortex: "...sche-sche-schemi-scheming behind my back?!..."

Neo Cortex: "...way out-way out-way out-way out-way out of our endless cycle..."

Dingodile: "...tryin' to get home..."

Lani-Loli: "...we can't-we can't close the rifts until we stop whatever's opening them..."

N. Tropy (F): "...this-this-this-this insect..."

Coco: "...kick some-kick some-kick some N. Tropy butt!"

N. Tropy: "...become-become-become a-become a-become a god!..."

Vs. N. Tropys
N. Tropy (F): "In my universe bandicoots are considered pests. As fit for extermination as a housefly."

N. Tropy: "Oh, how modern. Tell me more."

N. Tropys defeated
[Both N. Tropys crash right into the Rift Generator.]

N. Tropy: "Curse you..."

N. Tropy (F): "...bandicoots!"

Closing The Rifts
Coco: "We did it!"

Tawna: "Yeah, we did."

[Both Coco and Tawna high-five each other.]

Neo Cortex: "What's the matter? Unable to handle even this simplest of task? I no longer need for our--"

[Before Cortex could finish his sentence, Dingodile knocks both N. Tropys with his tail.]

Dingodile: "Bloody dags."

Neo Cortex: "...alliance."

[Both N. Tropys sent flying into the rift.]

Kupuna-Wa: "Right then! Let's plug up these holes!"

[The Quantum Masks would use their powers to shut down the Rift Generator, as they closed the rifts.]

Dingodile: "Oi, not that it ain't been fun, but about my ticket home..."

Kupuna-Wa: "Right! Now that we've mended things, we can take you anywhere, anywhen... after we rest. For now I can only get us as far as the culinary capital of the universe: Neon City!"

Akano: "Mmm... nachos."

To Neon City
Crash: "Woah!"

Coco: "You said it, Crash."

Aku Aku: "We can meet with the others after we've explored. Now, which way are the food trucks?"

Cortex's Betrayal
Tawna: "The shnurgle shank was killer!"

Dingodile: "Ugh, strewth! Who cooked it?! Heat was too high. S'why it was all rubbery inside. Subpar grill marks, too."

Coco: "I liked the pickled wumpa leaves."

Dingodile: "Ughhh..."

Neo Cortex: "Oh Cortex you CAD! Why did you not see it before? Muahahaha!"

[Cortex uses his ray gun to capture Kupuna-Wa and he rushes to his blimp, laughing manically. As Cortex leaves, two crates fall, but Tawna and Dingodile kick them off. They then give Crash and Coco a boost to Cortex's blimp.]

Tawna: "Give him hell!"

To Undo The Greatest Failure
Neo Cortex: "There's another way I can break this cycle of endless fighting between us. I can go back to where it started... I can undo my greatest failure!"

Coco: "He means you, Crash."

[Cortex uses Kupuna-Wa to open a rift to Cortex's Castle (1996).]

Kupuna-Wa: "Nyaugh!"

[A giant rift successfully opens up.]

Neo Cortex: "Bye-bye, bandicoots."

[The vent of his blimp blows Crash and Coco off, as they try to hang out on the open door.]

Doctor Neo Cortex and Doctor Neo Cortex (Past)
Neo Cortex: "You again?! You two are so clingy! Take a hint already!"

Neo Cortex (Past): "Who's on my super secret personal frequency?! What?! Who is this... this imposter?!"

Neo Cortex: "Do you not recognize your own face? I've come from the future to warn you! If you try to turn Crash Bandicoot into the General of your army you will fail! The machine rejects hi--"

Neo Cortex (Past): "Fraud! Fiend! N. Brio, alert the guards!"

Neo Cortex: "Ugh... why won't I listen to me?!"

Nitro Processing
Neo Cortex (Past): "Listen up, lackeys! There's an imposter-me on the loose. Identical in appearance: beady eyes, lips like two overripe bananas, skin like a jaundiced mole rat... a bonafide ten. Guards, increase security! Protect your master!"

Neo Cortex: "Is that what I sound like? Do I have a weird voice? Please, listen to me..."

Neo Cortex (Past): "Please, listen to me!"

Neo Cortex: "Agh! Rude!"

Neo Cortex (Past): "Ooo! Rude!"

Neo Cortex: "Gah! ...I'm a stubborn moron who's going to destroy his own future!"

Neo Cortex (Past): "I'm a stubborn mo-- hey wait a minute!"

Toxic Tunnels
Neo Cortex: "Ugh why did you- I -have to choose a bandicoot? If I'd just stuck with the wombat, this all could have been different..."

Neo Cortex (Past): "Pah! Wombats! This bandicoot is strong, clever, and above all loyal!"

Neo Cortex: "Ughhhhhh... What must I do to prove myself?! Mother's name: Sharon. Childhood pet: rock with googly eyes. Favorite food: Buttered noodles, butter on the side."

Neo Cortex (Past): "N. Brio! Change the password to my diary. This brute's been snooping."

Cortex Castle (Level)
Neo Cortex (Past): "You'll never find me, "Neo Cortex." This castle is a maze! I alone know all of its secret halls and passages!"

Neo Cortex: "Like the one behind the portrait of grandfather that opens when you press on his triangular fossa?"

Neo Cortex (Past): "...but how?! I've had it up to HERE with your games, you lout!"

Neo Cortex: "Lout?! Why I never!"

N. Brio (Past): "Wha? Wha-what is...? Am I seeing double?"

Neo Cortex (Past): "N. Brio, quickly! Revoke this fraud's hologram access!"

N. Brio (Past): "Uhhh, umm..."

Neo Cortex: "No, N. Brio! I'm no fraud! I'm from the future, you must listen to me!"

Neo Cortex (Past): "N. Brio do you not recognize your own master?! I'm the real Cortex!"

Neo Cortex: "No N. Brio, I am!"

N. Brio (Past): "Uhhh... DING DONG DING DONG! Oh my, sounds like the doorbell! I'd better go see who it is!"

Seeing Double
Neo Cortex: "I won't let me fail! I mean fail differently! I mean-- Argh! Crash! Why can't I be more responsible like I am?!"

Neo Cortex (Past): "Masquerade as me will you?! Well--"

Neo Cortex: "I'm you from the future you idiot! I--"

Neo Cortex (Past): "I'm not an idiot! You're the idiot! Idiot! Get him!"

[The Lab Assistants approach Cortex, who paralyzed them with his ray gun while one of the Lab Assistants fell through the chute. Cortex aims his ray gun at Past Cortex, who puts his hands up, while chuckling nervously.]

Neo Cortex (Past): "Eugh! Help! Help!"

Neo Cortex: "Ack, quit struggling! Don't make me--"

Neo Cortex (Past): "Help! Anyone! We have an evil doppelgänger situation!"

Neo Cortex: "I'm not a doppelgänger! I'm-- ugh, forget it!"

Neo Cortex (Past): "Hel-- Ugh!"

Neo Cortex: "There! That'll shut me up."

The Final Battle
Neo Cortex: "Do you have any idea how stubborn I used to be?"

Coco/Aku Aku: "Yes."

Crash: "Mhm!"

Neo Cortex: "I need to stop him from making you, but I can't kill him because that would kill me so I guess that means I have to kill you. Muahahahahaha!"

Cortex Defeated (Again)
Neo Cortex: "Not like this!"

[Cortex's machine falls down and explodes, resulting in a rumble that causes a pile of crates to begin falling down on him.]

Neo Cortex: "Doh! Ugh! Oh! Ow! Huh! Augh!"

Victory
[With Cortex defeated, Crash frees the past Cortex.]

Neo Cortex (Past): "Ughhh... oooh! Hmm, must've taken a hit to the old temporal lobe. But a fallen foe can only mean one thing... it came to blows and I WON! My new General's first order of business will be to dispose of you! Muahahaha!"

[Past Cortex rushes to his lab to prepare his bandicoot general.]

Neo Cortex (Past): "We are closer than ever before! Quickly! Into the vortex!"

N. Brio (Past): "But Doctor Cortex, the Vortex is not ready! We have no idea what it could do, ehehehehe!"

Neo Cortex (Past): "Failure again!"

Coco: "Explains a lot."

Neo Cortex: "Nyuuuagh."

Akano: "You. Stay."

Neo Cortex: "Ugh... what are you going to do to me?"

Kupuna-Wa: "Nuh-uh-uh! Looks like somebody needs a little time out..."

Lani-Loli: "...somewhere he can't cause any trouble."

Ika-Ika: "Enjoy the end of the universe!"

Neo Cortex: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Dingo's Diner (Back)
[The TV screen turns on.]

Dingodile: "Dingo's Diner is back and ready for you! Say g'day to delectable dishes inspired by my interdimensional travels! Enjoy the breeze with our innovative three-wall dining room design! Dingo's Diner: health and safety rated - 'D' for 'Delicious!'"

Disclaimer: "Warning: 'D' is a failing sanitation grade and does not stand for delicious."

[The TV screen turns off.]

Cortex's Peace and Quiet
[Cortex is seen alone at the end of the universe, appearing a bit sad for being lonely. However, he seems to realize something, causing him to turn happy, take a stretch, and start relaxing.]

Neo Cortex: "Ahhhhh. Peace at last."

Wumpa Victory
Tawna: "Ooh ooh! Almost there, almost there! Get the--"

Coco: "YES! Wumpa victory! Hey, Crash, you're in!"

Coco/Tawna: "5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"

Aku Aku: "Hahahahaha."

100% Epilogue
Narrator: "N. Gin abandoned his heavy metal lifestyle for one of smooth jazz. His album 'My Heart is a Doomsday Device' is currently number one in elevators around the world. He'll be playing in hotel bars from 3:00 to 3:30."

Narrator: "N. Brio was caught and caged after being mistaken for a flying squirrel. He is on display at the Art Of Taxidermy at Ripper Roo's Curious Cabinet of Curiosities."

Narrator: "To fuel his need for speed, Oxide became hooked on caffeine. He was hired as the spokesperson for a leading brand of energy drink. He is currently in rehab, and in the throes of a messy divorce."

Narrator: "Without their master, Cortex's lab assistants found themselves in need of a new gig. They renovated his blimp, turning it into a successful pop-up shop specializing in hewn crystals."

Narrator: "Dingodile franchised his restaurant operation, with Dingo's Diner rising to become the first name in chain-fast casual dining. They closed overnight with officials citing 'record health code violations'. The original location remains open during its condemnation."

Narrator: "After successful expeditions to El Dorado, Shang-Ri-La, Atlantis, and a brief fling with some dweeb named Smaefin Drake, Tawna is taking a brief hiatus from her adventures to re-center. She's recently taken up scrapbooking. She's not very good yet, but she's getting there."

Narrator: "After trying and failing to invent the world's first self-flying flying car, Coco found a new career as an e-sports champion. Don't forget to follow KickA$$Coco and smash that Adore Button!"

Narrator: "The dimensions have heard nothing more of the Doctors Tropy since Crash foiled their plans. But, evil geniuses are harder to squash than cockroaches..."

[The narrator reveals to be Crash.]

Crash Bandicoot: "And as for me, hmm, well, let's just say that I'm doing just fine."

106% Epilogue
[Cortex is relaxing and sighs positively, but then hears an evil laugh. He looks around and Uka Uka appears out of the darkness.]