List of quotes in Crash Tag Team Racing said by Von Clutch

This is a list of quotes said by Von Clutch in Crash Tag Team Racing.

Cutscenes

 * [introducing the Astro Land world] "Warning cosmic travelers, up here in the dankness of schpace lies the greatest fears you all will face! Hahaha!"

Missions

 * "Ahh, Crash Bandicoot. You're admiring mein beautiful automacar, ya? It's so lovely I would make it my life if I could. Please Crash, bring me mein Power Crystals so that I may be able to make zis beautiful creature come to life!"
 * "What's wrong with you, Crash? I am needing power to bring zis beauty to life! Do you think I enjoy being slow? Enjoy being laughed at?! Bring me the Crystals if you want more exciting races. Exciting races mean people on TV watch you, Crash. Watch you win... Then you will be a big star, ya?"
 * "Ohh, darling, why do you torture me so?! I need mein Crystals for mein car! Do you not understand zis? Don't you care?"
 * "Okay. Okay, I am done talking to you. Look. This is me not talking to you. Get the Crystal before I blow my schnitzel!"
 * "Ha life! Ha life! Joy mein caser life! Come Crash, to zis races and I will show you real driving! Prepare to be slaughtered!"
 * "Hey Crash, I think you're liking zis car, ya? Perhaps I will give it to you for many park tokens... Many!"
 * "What is this? Oh, surely you are joking, Crashikins, ya? Joking... You cannot buy a ride on mein jolly jumper with this few coins!"
 * "Again you return without the coins I asked for. ...ha ha ha... This is a joke, ya? Another one of your funnies. Oh, it is to laugh..."
 * "Und now the joke is a little tired, ya? Why do you do this? Wait, come back here! Perhaps you like Von Clutch, ya? Perhaps Von Clutch should embrace you."
 * "Oh, you have been a busy hairy beaver, ya? Or whatever species you are. Okay take you coins und I give you this car! Make with zis exciting races!"
 * Oh, Crash darling. I am so glad it is you, ya? The time, she flies and still my black power crystal is nowhere to be found. But as mein Papa would say "When in doubt, build a bigger tank!" Find me a Power Crystal, ya? Und I will be using mein best vehicle! For your help, I will give you many coins."
 * "Crash, you are getting me mad, ya? I swear, you will do what I ask, or I will strike you down, reanimate you, und strike you down again!!"
 * "Ahhhahahahaha! Oh happy day! With zis car on zis tracks, I will do much damage! Oh, und take your coins, spend them as you will, stay up late, I don't care."

When interacting with Crash

 * "Hello! Have you seen Willie Wumpa Cheeks? I'm sirsty!"
 * "Ah! Who are you? What are you wanting with me? Oh, hello Crash."
 * "Oh my goodness! Crash Bandicoot! My videogame hero! I want autographn, ya?"
 * "Hallo Crash! Did I ever tell you about mein services in the war?"
 * "Ahh, Crashn Bandicoot! Velcome to mein park!"
 * "Hallo Crash! Where's mein Crystals? Any luck yet?"
 * "Hallo Crashikin! When zis is all over we can really unsider, ya?"

When attacked by Crash

 * "I zought we were friends!"
 * "You hurt mein feelings...und mein organs."
 * "You are cruel! Cruel like...sausage!"
 * "Ohh, that really smarts!"
 * "You know I like when you play rough,"
 * "Mein is bleeding inside."
 * "Right in the transmission whoa!"
 * "Oh, mein life is getting worse."

When starting a race

 * "Ya, ya, ya. May the best cyborg win. And we all know who that is."
 * "Victory is in the palm of mein hand! Hallo, victory, you're very cute down there."
 * "Von Clutch will win! You can go home."
 * "Once I have control, I will do away with you all."
 * "Oh, I hope my dear mahti is watching on the crystal ball. Hallo, mahti!"
 * "Okay, let's get this over with. I got to go make pishee."
 * "Oh, the pitbull is ranging through mein carburetor! I'm feeling powerful! Und a little crazy."
 * "I hope this doesn't take too long. I have a chemical peel in one hour."
 * "This is where I make all of you look bad."
 * "Time to say bye-bye to Von Clutch!"
 * "Oh, the anticipation is excruciating! Hope it lasts, ya?"
 * "Who let the dogs out? Bark! Bark! Bark bark!"

When starting from a standstill

 * "Look at meeee...DRIVING FOOLISH UND CRAZY!!!"
 * "Ho ho, I am bursting with restless energy!"
 * "Stop your dinin und grab your linin!"
 * "My smoke is intimidating, ya?"
 * "I am Ebenezer Von Clutch! Watch me roar!"
 * "I love the sweet stench of burning rubber!"

When brushing against a wall

 * "INCOMING!!"
 * "Incoming!!"
 * "I think this will come out with a little polish, ya?"
 * "Hey! You crushed my bratwurst!"
 * "Quick, man your battle stations!"
 * "Find mein putologen!"
 * "Nothing a little shpitz of oil can't fix, ya?"
 * "Oh that was painful. Now I cry."

When passing an opponent vehicle

 * "Okay playtime is over good to know!
 * "Mein speed is impressive, ya?"
 * "Ta-ta! I send you a postcard from the sodo!"
 * "Ooohh, I hope the camera got a picture of that move!"
 * "Ha ha ha ha! Mein backside says Allo!"
 * "You love to see mein behind, don't you darling?"

When attacking an opponent vehicle

 * "Ya, there's more where that came from dummkopf!"
 * "You like Von Clutch's present for you, ya?
 * "My skills are sharp like razor, ya?"

When attacked by an opponent vehicle

 * "I'd like to buy a vowel. Whoops, wrong game.
 * "Hey! I zought we were friends."
 * "Hey you! Dummkopf at the controls! Watch what you are doing!"

When destroying opponent vehicle

 * "Hahaha! I throw the bomb and it goes BOOM!"
 * "Fahrn fahrn fahrn auf der autobahn!"
 * "Ya, look at you now, dummkopf!"
 * "Muzik. Nonstop. Dummkopf!"
 * "Serves you right for getting my way!"
 * "I'm terribly sorry... NOT!"
 * This is what happens when you play with fire und I'm a orange flame!"
 * "Hoohoo! Don't do that at home, kiddes!"
 * "It's my party, I'll destroy if I want to!"
 * "This is done on a closed track with a professional driver ... NOT!"

When brushing against an opponent vehicle

 * "Ya, ya, ya I almost hit you. So what?"
 * "Is this the hardest you hit? Pathetic!"
 * "I'm driving here, dummkopf!"
 * "Who gave this dummkopf a license? The department of motor-dummkopfs?"
 * "Ouch! You crushed mein pinkie toe!"
 * "Hey! Don't you like high-velocity pain?"
 * "Ah! Watch where you are going, schweinhund!"
 * "Please, stop! You hurt mein feelings when you do that."
 * "Hey, the autobahn is for racing, not boking! Sheesh!"
 * "Achtung!"
 * "Achtung, dummkopf!"
 * "Police! Police!"
 * "I will deliver much pain und suffering upon you! Once I eat this strudel."
 * "Hey there. I will have to pummel you next lap."
 * "We have ways of making you talk."
 * "Ack! For me watch out!"
 * "Ah! Delima! That was quite the driving, ya?"
 * "Ah! Missed another one! I think you getting soft, ya?"
 * "Hey! Quit breaking mein concentration!"

Carrying an item

 * "What should I use this for."
 * "Ohh, I am tingling with delight! At least I think that's delight."
 * "I will never let you go again."
 * "Ohh, ze beautiful sparkly will never be taken from me again!"
 * "I know I'll find a place for you somewhere."
 * "You zought you could hide from me, huh?"
 * "Ho, ho! I'm running out of room in mein pockets!"
 * "Cha-ching!"
 * "Oh, I just love winning prizes!"
 * "Oooh, another prize for Von Clutch!"
 * "I wonder if this is what Hansel and Gretel felt like, ya?"
 * "Another goody for mein goody bag!"

When destroyed by opponent vehicle

 * "All is lost!"
 * "Abandon Ship! Abandon Ship."
 * "Hush, my precious. Time to sleep."
 * "This is a long way to walk home."
 * "Mein auto controls is haywire. Medic!"
 * "Hohh. My ability to mane you is dimished, ya?"
 * "Ohhh, nang. My putalogen is no longer putalaing!"
 * "Somebody. Put mein auto out of it's misery!"
 * "Mein strudal is kasplutt!"
 * "Somebody put out vences!"

When running over a park drone

 * "Oh, my most sincere apologies! Ha!"
 * "Oh, Von Clutch is so sorry! Hee hee hee!"
 * "I know that shouldn't feel good. But it does!"
 * "Who turned out your lights? Me!"
 * "Say guden natch, schweinhund!"

When clasing

 * "Ya, ya, ya. Now to really wreck some havoc."
 * "Very lucky you are to merge with Von Clutch darling."
 * "Hey! You merging into mein putalogen! Or is my putalogen in your vences?"

When declashing

 * "End of the line for you, ya?"
 * "I know we're friends, but mein is an evil friend!"
 * "Perhaps some time alone would be good for us?"
 * "Und Von Clutch poms you for zis win!"
 * "Zis is not working out between us, ya?"