Crash Nitro Kart script

This page is comprised of transcriptions of all the cutscenes in Crash Nitro Kart.

Notes:
 * Each cutscene is in chronological order of appearance in regular gameplay.
 * Cutscenes are split between the Team Bandicoot and Team Cortex routes. The intro is placed in its own section as it plays before a team is chosen and is therefore the same for both. There's also a fourth "neutral" section for cutscenes that are identical for both teams.

Introduction
[The bandicoot house is shown on the shore of N. Sanity Island. The camera goes inside to show Crash sleeping in a room filled with treasures from previous adventures such as crystals and trophies.] [The camera changes again to a garage, also inside the bandicoot house. Coco is shown typing on her laptop to upgrade a kart. The camera pans to show Aku Aku talking to Crunch, who is lifting a weight.]

Crunch: "That diet's a joke."

Aku Aku: "Well... I've heard you can lose a lot of weight on it."

Crunch: "But you can't keep it off. Just eat less and exercise more."

[A blinding light suddenly shines through a nearby window with a strange sound.]

Aku Aku: "Something's wrong. That's not sunlight...!"

[Crash is shown again, still asleep. The light shines through in his room as well. He wakes and then sits up, shielding his eyes.]

Crash: "Hmm?"

[He puts on sunglasses and lays back down, smiling. The bandicoot house is shown being ripped from the ground and carried off into the sky by a mysterious force.]

[ Cortex Castle is shown. The camera goes inside to show Cortex pacing around the room, with Tiny sitting on the floor playing checkers against himself.]

Cortex: "Oh, how can I defeat those pesty bandicoots? Hmm... And conquer the world of course!"

Tiny: "BANDICOOTS!"

[Tiny smashes the checkerboard with his fist.]

Tiny: "I can squash bandicoots!"

Cortex: "Yes, yes, I know you can Tiny, but you failed so many, many, many times! ...Tiny! Go see if Doctor N. Gin requires assistance!"

[Tiny stands up, salutes and runs into another room.]

[In said room, N. Gin is shown about to start an experiment on a kart. Dingodile is stood next to a switch by the door.]

N. Gin: "Dingodile! Throw the switch!"

[Dingodile reaches for the switch, only to be squashed flat against the wall by Tiny throwing the door open. Tiny runs into the room towards N. Gin, only for bright light to come streaming through a window.]

N. Gin: "What did you break now?!"

[Tiny looks confused and shrugs. Cortex is shown back in the first room, staring up into the light.]

Cortex: "Oh...!"

[The light attempts to take the whole castle, but isn't strong enough, so settles for ripping off the tower that Cortex, Tiny, N. Gin and Dingodile were in.]

[Back in the bandicoot house, Crash finally gets up and stumbles out of the front door only for the door to collapse and the doorknob to break off in his hand. He drops the knob and sees that the house had been placed in a giant citadel. A giant crowd of green aliens cheer as he emerges. The camera zooms out to show that the citadel was on top of a giant asteroid in the shape of Velo's face. The camera zooms back in to show Crash looking bewildered. He turns around to see Coco and Crunch emerging from the house waving at him. He turns back, only to see Cortex, N. Gin and Tiny standing across the clearing. Tiny smirks at Crash threateningly, and Crash glares back, but changes his mind, smiling and waving awkwardly. The two teams walk forwards and face off against each other.]

Cortex: "What have you done, you miserable marsupi-!"

[A giant hologram of Velo's face appears above a giant nearby pedestal.]

Velo: "I am Emperor Velo XXVII, ruler of this galaxy!"

[The crowd cheers at Velo's arrival.]

Velo: "My subjects hunger for entertainment."

Crowd: "Velo! Velo! Velo!"

Velo: "And word of your racing prowess has reached my glorious empire."

[A small group is shown standing on the pedestal. N. Trance is there, along with Dingodile and Polar, who he had kidnapped and hypnotised. Nitrous Oxide is also there, along with his two henchmen Zem and Zam. They wave at the crowd.]

N. Trance: "Eheheheheheh!"

Velo: "And I hope you put on a good show, especially since winning the circuit will win your freedom. And, if for some reason you refuse to race, your earth will be... destroyed. But... I don't think it will come to that. Do you accept my challenge?"

The Galaxy Circuit
[Crunch, Coco and Crash walk towards Velo's hologram, determined. Velo looks down at them.]

Velo: "Do you accept my challenge?"

[Crash just stares up at him.]

Velo: "OUT WITH IT!"

[Crash smiles and gives a thumbs up. The crowd begins cheering.]

Velo: "It is decided! You will race across four worlds of my choosing, and if you should win each world's key, you will earn the chance to race the galactic champion for your freedom!"

[A floating key appears before the team. Velo chuckles menacingly. The key floats away and disappears.]

Velo: "To give you a fighting chance, I even modified your earthling vehicles."

[Three modified karts drop down and land in front of the team. A beam of light appears and takes away the bandicoot house.]

Velo: "Now! Onto the first world: Terra!"

[Crash, Coco and Crunch jump into their karts and drive into a nearby gateway that warps them to Terra.]

Krunk Challenge
Velo: "You've collected three trophies. A promising start. Now, you must face Terra's champion: Krunk!"

[Krunk appears on a floating platform in a flash of bright light. He pounds his fists against his chest.]

Krunk: "RAAAARGHHH!"

Crowd: "Krunk! Krunk! Krunk! Krunk!"

Velo: "Krunk's speed is only matched by his cunning on the track."

[Krunk motions at the crowd, making them cheer louder. He looks down at the team.]

Krunk: "They will race me? They look slow. Send them back!"

Velo: "But Krunk, they're from a planet just like yours! It's called Earth."

Krunk: "Earth! I have heard of this planet! It is a copy of my Terra! I will race them, and show them who has better planet!"

[Crunch, Coco and Crash glare up at Krunk, determined. Velo chuckles ominously.]

Krunk Defeated
[Crunch, Coco and Crash are shown celebrating in the middle of the citadel, a victory fanfare playing in the background. Crash plays with his yo-yo.]

Crowd member: "Woo-hoo!"

[One crowd member cheers and claps. Other crowd members around them glare at them, and they look down, ashamed. Krunk reluctantly approaches the team.]

Krunk: "Key... makes you champion of Terra. Also... opens all world gates on my planet. Visit... when you want."

[Crash grins and offers Krunk his yo-yo.]

Krunk: "What is this...? Gift from your world?"

[Crash nods and smiles.]

Krunk: "Thank you... I am sorry. We actually copied your planet."

[Krunk struggles to use the yo-yo properly, and it falls against the ground. Crash laughs at him. Velo reappears.]

Velo: "Krunk!"

[Velo winces as he sees Krunk tangled up in Crash's yo-yo. Krunk smiles up at Velo sheepishly.]

Velo: "Ooh... Leave my sight!"

[Krunk gets taken away by the light.]

Velo: "You did well, but you're nowhere close to winning the circuit yet. On to the second world: Barin!

Nash Intro
Velo: "You now have six trophies. With these, you have earned the right to race Nash, Barin's champion!"

[The crowd cheers.]

Velo: "Nash was engineered to always move. He never stops or even sleeps."

[Nash appears on a hovering platform and snorts. He begins spinning rapidly and pretending to fight the air, making smashing and banging sounds.]

Nash: "Put 'em up! Put 'em up!"

[Crash scratches his head, confused. Crunch and Coco look at each other, and Crunch shakes his head. Nash sneers at the team, then turns to Velo.]

Nash: "Is that... enough?"

[Nash floats up to Velo, who rolls his eyes and groans.]

Nash: "I need to get moving!"

Velo: "Soon, Nash, soon."

Nash: "Not soon... NOOOOW!"

[The crowd cries out in outrage. Velo snarls at Nash, who retreats, smiling and waving at Velo sheepishly.]

Velo: "...Excellent."

Beat Nash
[Crunch and Crash high-five as a victory fanfare plays.]

Crunch: "Yeah!"

[Crash holds his hand in pain, and smiles up at Crunch, who pumps his fist in the air. Nash approaches the two of them.]

Nash: "Oh, hello there! Do you think... I can get my key back...?"

[Crunch crosses his arms and rolls his eyes. Crash shrugs.]

Nash: "... Come on!"

Crunch: "You lost, buddy!"

Nash: "I! DON'T! CARE!"

[Nash suddenly makes a strange sound and collapses, asleep.]

Nash: "eep... eep... eep..."

[Crunch and Crash look down at Nash, confused.]

Coco: "I hacked his brain and put him to sleep! He looked like he needed some, the poor shark thingy."

Velo: "That's a first. Get him out of here this instant!"

[Nash is taken away by a beam of light.]

Velo: "Well, you're halfway there. Here's where things start to get tricky. On to Fenomena!"

Meet Norm
Velo: "With your nine trophies, you have earned the right to face Fenomena's champion: Norm!"

Crowd: "Norm! Norm! Norm!"

[Little Norm appears on hovering platform in a flash of light even brighter than the others. Crash, Coco and Crunch put on sunglasses to shield their eyes.]

Coco: "Huh?"

[Little Norm is sitting on his platform reading a book. Crash, Coco and Crunch laugh at him. Velo laughs briefly, but quickly regains his composure.]

Velo: "Don't let Norm's size fool you. He's a demon on the race track."

[Little Norm stands up, crosses his arms and shakes his head, refusing to race.]

Velo: "NOOOO! You are racing today, now DO IT!"

[Little Norm floats down to the ground and hastily jumps off of his platform, looking frightened. Suddenly, he dissolves into blue goop with his beret still floating on top. The pile of goop splits into two.]

Crunch: "Huh?"

Coco: "Huh?"

[Crash scratches his head. A red beret floats to the surface of the new goop pile. The piles of goop reform, with the small pile turning back into Little Norm, and Big Norm forming from the larger one.]

Big Norm: "Ooh, a race! Count me in!"

[Little Norm waves a finger at Big Norm and turns away, crossing his arms.]

Big Norm: "I don't wanna hear it! The deal was that you race in return for me wearing this dumb get-up!"

[Big Norm walks over to Team Bandicoot.]

Big Norm: "Besides! They don't stand a chance."

[Crash, Coco and Crunch glare back at Big Norm.]

Norm Fails
[Little Norm is sitting on the ground with his book, dejected. Team Bandicoot celebrate their victory.]

Coco: "Yes! Oh yeah!"

Crunch: "Mmm! That feels good!"

[Big Norm approaches the team.]

Big Norm: "Y'know, you did good out there. You got a real shot at winning this thing, 'cause you work together!"

Crunch: "Both of you make a good team too."

[Little Norm is still sitting with his book, back facing the others.]

Big Norm: "Hey! Come over here and make nice!"

[Little Norm ignores him.]

Big Norm: "Yeah, he pretends not to care, but he's just like me. He hates losing."

Velo: "Norm! Get over here!"

[Little Norm puts his book down and walks towards Velo.]

Big Norm: "Uh oh."

[Big Norm joins Little Norm before the emperor. They look at each other and refuse, leaving Little Norm to face Velo alone.]

Velo: "Perhaps I need new ways to motivate you... like taking your books away."

[Little Norm puts a hand over his mouth and shakes his head, horrified. He is taken by a beam of light.]

Velo: "I thought he had you beat, but you proved me wrong. You won't be so lucky on... Teknee!"

Geary Race
Velo: "So you know, very few racers have ever won all twelve trophies."

Crowd: "Bandicoot! Bandicoot! Bandicoot!"

[Crash, Coco and Crunch smile and look around at the crowd. Coco waves.]

Velo: "Yes, they deserve it! But now, they must face my finest racer: Geary, champion of Teknee, the pinnacle of robotics!"

[Geary appears on a floating platform in front of Velo.]

Crowd: "Geary! Geary! Geary!"

Velo: "Isn't that right, Geary?"

Geary: "Only a robot can achieve perfection in motion, I will deMOLISH ANY- Oh, what a mess! Can't have that not clean!"

[Geary begins cleaning his platform with a vaccum nozzle from his chest. He stands up as Velo looms behind him.]

Geary: "Now! Where was I?"

Geary The Loser
[Geary is sulking next to a pillar on the side of the victory podium.]

Geary: "My key! How did I lose?! I know Teknee like the back of my- My hand! It's dirty! This whole place is FILTHY!"

[Geary scoffs and begins vaccuming the pillar. He works his way around and notices Crash celebrating with the rest of his team. His free hand retracts into his arm and returns holding a brush. He begins brushing Crash's hair, much to Coco's amusement. He then starts vaccuming Crash's chest and under his arm, tickling him.]

Velo: "(from off screen) GEARY!"

[Geary stops and looks up at Velo, terrified.]

Velo: "(off screen) YOU. HAVE. FAILED ME! As punishment, you must clean the trophy podium."

[The camera changes to reveal that Velo is standing on the podium in person rather than as a hologram, with two of his minions floating either side.]

Velo: "And, when you're done with that, you will clean the entire coliseum!"

[He laughs maliciously.]

Velo: "(to Team Bandicoot) You now have all four champion keys, and with these you can now challenge the most accomplished racer in the entire galaxy: me! And. I. Never. Lose."

Velo Championship
Velo: "It seems that I did not give you enough credit, yes?"

[The podium floats up and out of the coliseum, and the ground splits apart, revealing a void underneath. Ramps with boost pads extend out into the coliseum, turning it into a track. The team is safely floating on a small platform above the disappearing ground.]

Velo: "I won't make that mistake again. You savages will learn fear just as millions have before you."

[Crash, Coco and Crunch look down into the pit. Velo climbs into his kart and begins laughing manically. Velo, his minions and the platform carrying the team float down to the beginning of the track.]

Velo Loses
[Velo growls angrily, and two of his minions float behind him, fiddling nervously. Suddenly Velo gets an idea, and smirks. Coco, Crunch and Crash approach him on the victory podium.]

Velo: "Congratulations! You have won the galaxy circuit. And you put on quite a show! Am I right, everyone?!"

[The crowd cheers in response.]

Velo: "You are now free to go."

Coco: "Great! Send us home!"

Velo: "Wha? You mean Earth? But no, I have to destroy Earth. Since you no longer want to race, you can't go back there. I thought I was pretty clear about that."

Coco: "That's not fair!"

Velo: "What do you mean? You're free to go."

Crunch: "We're not going anywhere! We'll keep racing if that's what it takes."

Velo: "A rematch?! How exciting. But, there are rules to follow. You first need to earn all my time relics, then we can race for the fate of your Earth."

Velo Vanquished
[The crowd cheers loudly. Velo snarls, enraged at his loss. His minions nervously fidget behind him.]

Minion 1: "My lord! Please, don't get angry!"

Minion 2: "Your suit is leaking, sire!"

[Velo whacks the platform that minion 2 was floating on, sending him flying out of the coliseum.]

Minion 2: "WHAAAA! I CAN SEE MY HOUSE FROM HERE!"

[The crowd continues to cheer. Velo doubles over, growling ever louder. Minion 1 hastily flies out of frame. Crunch, Crash and Coco look up at him, bemused. Suddenly, Velo explodes in a cloud of black smoke. The crowd cries out in shock and the bandicoots shield their faces from the blast. A pile of gears, scrap metal and cloth is left where Velo stood, with his sceptre laying on the top. Crash and Coco approach the debris.]

Coco: "Emperor Velo was a robot?"

[Crunch examines a ruined robotic arm next to the pile.]

Crunch: "They just don't make 'em like they used to."

[He flexes his robotic arm and grins at it. Crash climbs onto the pile and notices Real Velo struggling amoung the wreakage.]

Coco: "Is that the real Velo?!"

[Velo scrambles to his feet and picks up the sceptre, holding it over his head. The crowd just watches in stunned silence. Velo turns to the bandicoots.]

Velo: "My... empire is yours, and all the power that comes with it."

[He stabs his sceptre into the pile and clambers off it. Crash and Coco look at each other, then Crash looks back at the sceptre.]

Crash: "Oh!"

[Crash climbs onto the pile and picks up the sceptre. He looks up, beaming, and imagines an asteroid shaped like his head with a citadel on top just like Velo's. He then imagines himself sitting on the pedestal, holding the sceptre. The crowd looks on in confusion. Crash looks down awkwardly. The daydream sequence ends with a record scratch. Crash shakes his head and offers Velo his sceptre back. Velo reaches out for it, nodding eagerly. Crash shoves the sceptre into his hands, sending him rolling down the pile and ending up on his back in front of Crunch. Everyone laughs at Velo.]

Crunch: "Time to go home. You'll do that for us, right little guy?"

[Velo grins and nods nervously. The bandicoot family is then shown back on N. Sanity beach, Crash sleeping on a beach towel, Coco reading a book, Crunch sunbaking, and Polar holding a sand pail in his mouth. The camera pans up into the sun, and the scene ends.]

The Galaxy Circuit
[Cortex, N. Gin and Tiny walk towards Velo's hologram, determined. Suddenly Tiny trips over a stray rock.]

N. Gin: "Uh-oh...!"

[Tiny stumbles and falls, landing on top of Cortex. Velo looks down at them.]

Velo: "Do you accept my challenge?"

Cortex: "(muffled) I would hardly call these games a challenge, we'll win easily!"

[Velo laughs manically. Tiny gets off of Cortex and the two stand back up.]

Velo: "It is decided! You will race across four worlds of my choosing, and if you should win each world's key, you will earn the chance to race the galactic champion for your freedom!"

[A floating key appears before the team. Velo chuckles menacingly. The key floats away and disappears.]

Velo: "To give you a fighting chance, I even modified your earthling vehicles."

[Three modified karts drop down and land in front of the team. N. Gin giggles excitedly. A beam of light appears and takes away the tower of Cortex Castle that was resting in the coliseum.]

Velo: "Now! Onto the first world: Terra!"

[Cortex, N. Gin and Tiny jump into their karts and drive into a nearby gateway that warps them to Terra.]

Krunk Challenge
Velo: "You've collected three trophies. A promising start. Now, you must face Terra's champion: Krunk!"

[Krunk appears on a floating platform in a flash of bright light. He pounds his fists against his chest.]

Krunk: "RAAAARGHHH!"

Crowd: "Krunk! Krunk! Krunk! Krunk!"

Velo: "Krunk's speed is only matched by his cunning on the track."

[Krunk motions at the crowd, making them cheer louder. He looks down at the team.]

Krunk: "They will race me? They look slow. Send them back!"

Velo: "But Krunk, they're from a planet just like yours! It's called Earth."

Krunk: "Earth! I have heard of this planet! It is a copy of my Terra! I will race them, and show them who has better planet!"

[Tiny, Cortex and N. Gin glare up at Krunk, determined. Velo chuckles ominously.]

Krunk Defeated
[Tiny, Cortex and N. Gin are shown celebrating in the middle of the citadel, a victory fanfare playing in the background.]

Cortex: "All too easy!"

Tiny: "Tiny's planet number one!"

[He holds up three fingers. He pauses to count them and then corrects himself, holding up one finger. Cortex rolls his eyes. Krunk approaches them.]

Krunk: "Key... makes you champion of Terra. Also... opens all world gates on my planet. Just do not make trouble."

Cortex: "Trouble? I won't make trouble! At least not until I've conquered my planet first...!"

[Krunk glares at Cortex, but suddenly Velo's hologram appears.]

Velo: "Krunk!"

[Krunk turns and looks up at Velo, afraid.]

Velo: "Leave my sight."

[Krunk gets taken away by the light. Tiny, Cortex and N. Gin look up at Velo, at various degrees of concerned and/or confused.]

Velo: "You did well, but you're nowhere close to winning the circuit yet. On to the second world: Barin!"

Nash Intro
Velo: "You now have six trophies. With these, you have earned the right to race Nash, Barin's champion!"

[The crowd cheers.]

Velo: "Nash was engineered to always move. He never stops or even sleeps."

[Nash appears on a hovering platform and snorts. He begins spinning rapidly and pretending to fight the air, making smashing and banging sounds.]

Nash: "Put 'em up! Put 'em up!"

[Tiny scratches his head, confused. Cortex shakes his head, and N. Gin looks over at Cortex. Nash sneers at the team, then turns to Velo.]

Nash: "Is that... enough?"

[Nash floats up to Velo, who rolls his eyes and groans.]

Nash: "I need to get moving!"

Velo: "Soon, Nash, soon."

Nash: "Not soon... NOOOOW!"

[The crowd cries out in outrage. Velo snarls at Nash, who retreats, smiling and waving at Velo sheepishly.]

Velo: "...Excellent."

Beat Nash
[The team celebrate on the victory podium, Nash standing a few metres away, bearing his teeth in anger over his defeat.]

N. Gin: "Cybernetic sharks! We should try that, yes, yes, they could make great henchmen!"

Cortex: "But this one lost."

[Tiny picks his bellybutton, plucking out brown lint. He examines it, sniffs it, then sucks it off his claw.]

N. Gin: "It seems to me, that he'd fit right in...!"

[Nash runs up behind N. Gin, scaring him.]

Nash: "Gimmie my key back!"

[N. Gin runs away from Nash in fear. Cortex stands his ground, and Tiny runs and stand between the two of them.]

Cortex: "Ohohohoho! And sharks make such silly demands, too!"

Nash: "Why, you...!"

[Nash takes a fighting stance, raising his fists at Tiny. Tiny leans forwards and prepares to pounce, but is interrupted by Velo.]

Velo: "Nash! Get out of here! I'll deal with you later!"

[Nash runs off.]

Velo: "Well, you're halfway there. Here's where things start to get tricky. On to Fenomena!"

Meet Norm
Velo: "With your nine trophies, you have earned the right to face Fenomena's champion: Norm!"

Crowd: "Norm! Norm! Norm!"

[Little Norm appears on hovering platform in a flash of light even brighter than the others. Tiny, Cortex and N. Gin put on sunglasses to shield their eyes. Little Norm is sitting on his platform reading a book. Tiny, Cortex and N. Gin laugh at him.]

Cortex: "Ohohoho! Yes, yes."

[Velo laughs briefly, but quickly regains his composure.]

Velo: "Don't let Norm's size fool you. He's a demon on the race track."

[Little Norm stands up, crosses his arms and shakes his head, refusing to race.]

Velo: "NOOOO! You are racing today, now DO IT!"

[Little Norm floats down to the ground and hastily jumps off of his platform, looking frightened. Suddenly, he dissolves into blue goop with his beret still floating on top. The pile of goop splits into two.]

Tiny: "Duh...?"

Cortex: "Ey...?"

N. Gin: "Wha...?"

[A red beret floats to the surface of the new goop pile. The piles of goop reform, with the small pile turning back into Little Norm, and Big Norm forming from the larger one.]

Big Norm: "Ooh, a race! Count me in!"

[Little Norm waves a finger at Big Norm and turns away, crossing his arms.]

Big Norm: "I don't wanna hear it! The deal was that you race in return for me wearing this dumb get-up!"

[Big Norm walks over to Team Cortex.]

Big Norm: "Besides! They don't stand a chance."

[Tiny, Cortex and N. Gin glare back at Big Norm.]

Norm Fails
[Team Cortex celebrate their victory by the podium as the crowd cheers the team's name.]

Cortex: "Yes! Yes!"

[Big Norm approaches the team.]

Big Norm: "Y'know, you did good out there!"

Cortex: "(interrupting Big Norm) Go away, you filthy clown!"

N. Gin: "No, no- He's a mime!"

Cortex: "Mime, clown, close enough! With their painted faces and tattoos and stupid little honker things that just..."

[Big Norm, insulted, glares at Cortex.]

Big Norm: "Where do you get off calling me a clown?! With your big head and your stupid springy hair?!"

[Velo appears suddenly.]

Velo: "Norm! Get over here!"

[Little Norm puts his book down and walks towards Velo.]

Big Norm: "Uh oh."

[Big Norm joins Little Norm before the emperor. They look at each other and refuse, leaving Little Norm to face Velo alone.]

Velo: "Perhaps I need new ways to motivate you... like taking your books away."

[Little Norm puts a hand over his mouth and shakes his head, horrified. He is taken by a beam of light.]

Velo: "I thought he had you beat, but you proved me wrong. You won't be so lucky on... Teknee!"

Geary Race
Velo: "So you know, very few racers have ever won all twelve trophies."

Crowd: "Cortex! Cortex! Cortex!"

[Tiny, Cortex and N. Gin smile and look around at the crowd. Tiny jumps up and down on the spot, Cortex and N. Gin wave.]

Velo: "Yes, they deserve it! But now, they must face my finest racer: Geary, champion of Teknee, the pinnacle of robotics!"

[Geary appears on a floating platform in front of Velo.]

Crowd: "Geary! Geary! Geary!"

Velo: "Isn't that right, Geary?"

Geary: "Only a robot can achieve perfection in motion, I will deMOLISH ANY- Oh, what a mess! Can't have that not clean!"

[Geary begins cleaning his platform with a vaccum nozzle from his chest. He stands up as Velo looms behind him.]

Geary: "Now! Where was I?"

Geary The Loser
[Geary is sulking next to a pillar on the side of the victory podium.]

Geary: "My key! How did I lose?! I know Teknee like the back of my- My hand! It's dirty! This whole place is FILTHY!"

[Geary scoffs and begins vaccuming the pillar. He works his way around and notices Tiny celebrating with the rest of his team. His free hand retracts into his arm and returns holding a brush. He begins brushing Tiny's arm, much to his confusion. He then starts vaccuming under his chin, causing him to start tapping his foot against the ground in satisfaction.]

Velo: "(from off screen) GEARY!"

[Geary stops and looks up at Velo, terrified.]

Velo: "(off screen) YOU. HAVE. FAILED ME! As punishment, you must clean the trophy podium."

[The camera changes to reveal that Velo is standing on the podium in person rather than as a hologram, with two of his minions floating either side.]

Velo: "And, when you're done with that, you will clean the entire coliseum!"

[He laughs maliciously.]

Velo: "(to Team Cortex) You now have all four champion keys, and with these you can now challenge the most accomplished racer in the entire galaxy: me! And. I. Never. Lose."

Velo Championship
Velo: "It seems that I did not give you enough credit, yes?"

[The podium floats up and out of the coliseum, and the ground splits apart, revealing a void underneath. Ramps with boost pads extend out into the coliseum, turning it into a track. The team is safely floating on a small platform above the disappearing ground.]

Velo: "I won't make that mistake again. You savages will learn fear just as millions have before you."

[Cortex, Tiny and N. Gin look down into the pit. Cortex shakes his head, Tiny covers his eyes in fear, and N. Gin swallows hard. Velo climbs into his kart and begins laughing manically. Velo, his minions and the platform carrying the team float down to the beginning of the track.]

Velo Loses
[Velo growls angrily, and two of his minions float behind him, fiddling nervously. Suddenly Velo gets an idea, and smirks. Tiny, N. Gin and Cortex approach him on the victory podium.]

Velo: "Congratulations! You have won the galaxy circuit. And you put on quite a show! Am I right, everyone?!"

[The crowd cheers in response.]

Velo: "You are now free to go."

Cortex: "Good, good, now whip up that vortex of yours and send us back to Earth."

Velo: "Wha? But no, I have to destroy Earth. Since you no longer want to race, you can't go back there. I thought I was pretty clear about that."

Tiny: "Huh? Tiny doesn't get it."

Cortex: "I do. Big Emperor Velo can't stand the fact he lost!"

Velo: "Are you certain of that? A rematch, then?"

Cortex: "Ha! Nothing to it!"

Velo: "But, there are rules to follow. You first need to earn all my time relics, then we can race for the fate of your Earth."

Velo Vanquished
[The crowd cheers loudly. Velo snarls, enraged at his loss. His minions nervously fidget behind him.]

Minion 1: "My lord! Please, don't get angry!"

Minion 2: "Your suit is leaking, sire!"

[Velo whacks the platform that minion 2 was floating on, sending him flying out of the coliseum.]

Minion 2: "WHAAAA! I CAN SEE MY HOUSE FROM HERE!"

[The crowd continues to cheer. Velo doubles over, growling ever louder. Minion 1 hastily flies out of frame. Cortex, Tiny and N. Gin look up at him, bemused. Cortex is stand right in front of him, but Tiny and N. Gin are standing lower down the ramp. Suddenly, Velo explodes in a cloud of black smoke. The crowd cries out in shock and Cortex's face is covered in soot. A pile of gears, scrap metal and cloth is left where Velo stood, with his sceptre wedged in the top. The team approach the debris.]

Cortex: "Huhuhahahahahoho I am so good...! Who knew it would be this easy? Hahaha! A robot? How quaint."

[Cortex walks forwards and attempts to pull the sceptre out of the pile of scrap.]

Cortex: "(strained) Oh! Ooh! Oh, you-! Will you-!"

[Finally the sceptre is free. Cortex turns to his team and holds it up triumphantly, but turns back to the pile as Velo emerges in his true form.]

Velo: "It's mine! You can't have it!"

Cortex: "So, Emperor Velo XXVII! We meet at last, face to face!"

[Velo pounces on Cortex and tries to wrestle the sceptre out of his hands.]

Velo: "Give it!"

[Tiny picks up Velo by the the back of his collar, pulling him off of Cortex.]

Velo: "Help me! They're stealing my sceptre! My power!"

[Tiny succeeds in pulling Velo off of Cortex and holds him up by the back of his shirt. Velo looks up at Tiny, intimidated.]

Velo: "...Ah, keep it. It's too big for me anyways."

[Tiny drops Velo on the ground and looks back to Cortex, who is struggling to hold the sceptre above his head. Tiny reaches over to help, but Cortex refuses.]

Cortex: "Back off! I can handle it."

[With great effort, Cortex holds the sceptre above his head.]

Cortex: "Now! On to Earth!"

[Suddenly, the tip of the sceptre breaks off and falls to the ground. In a flash of light, Cortex, Tiny and N. Gin are teleported out of the coliseum and onto a stone platform in a jungle.]

N. Gin: "Earth! We made it! Huhuhuhu!"

[N. Gin begins to kiss the ground. Cortex looks up to see a temple just like one on Terra, with many planets visible in the lilac sky.]

Cortex: "This isn't Earth...!"

[Suddenly inhabitants of Terra, who resemble Krunk, begin emerging from the jungle and walking towards them.]

Cortex: "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Tiny...!"

[The three of them look around, afraid. They're surrounded. Tiny reaches down and picks up the two pieces of sceptre from the ground, and presses them together. They reform into one piece. He holds the sceptre above his head. The Terrans begin bowing to Tiny.]

Cortex: "Tiny! YOU BUFFOON!"

Velo Rematch
[The podium floats up and out of the coliseum, and the ground splits apart, revealing a void underneath. Ramps with boost pads extend out into the coliseum, turning it into a track.]

Velo's Victory
[The ground of the coliseum closes back up, shutting off Hyper Spaceway.]

Velo: "That was a joke! Perhaps next time you might actually challenge me."